TW: Depression, suicidal thoughts and actions.
If you are easily triggered do not read this, it is heavy.
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"You were just drunk weren't you? You didn't mean what you said about me, I'm not any of those things." She scowled. I was taken aback, of course I did, what was she thinking?
"Bri, of c-"
"Save it, you don't love me like I love you, you love me as a friend. My legs aren't hot, I'm not pretty and you lied to me and got my hopes up, don't talk to me Lizzie... and get off!" She shoved me back onto the couch and ran to her room. She's never shoved me off of her lap before. I felt my eyes burn and tears blur my vision.
"Liz!" I heard then felt two sets of arms wrap around me. "Darling, we heard the whole thing, she doesn't know what she's talking about. We all know you meant what you said when you told her you love her."
"She didn't even let you talk." Jackie added.
"Maybe this is just her way of rejecting me.. I mean why would she love me? I'm a dirty drug addict and alcoholic. What is there to love?" I laughed hysterically. "She would never love someone like me, she likes the sophisticated, smart, astro-what-the-fuck-ever-cists. Me? I'm not smart nor sophisticated, my life is sad. I don't have a degree or a title, I'm just Liz. The hippie, the druggie, the one that's hopelessly in love with a beautiful and smart woman that will never love me back." I said somewhat optimistically.
"Elizabeth we need to talk." I heard an angry voice behind me.
"No, I'm done talking, done with life actually. I'm leaving, there's nothing left for me." I told them and ran out the door but before I did I took a picture of the band mates and I. I knew exactly where I was going, it was a rainy and stormy night but that couldn't stop me. I was heading to the bride. "I lived life, I've seen things I don't need to live anymore." I told myself as I reached the bridge. I hoisted myself up and sat on the edge. "Dear Brianna, I love you an always have. It was the day that I first met you that I knew I wanted to be with you forever." I started smiling at the lonely tears that was falling down my face, it wasn't quite as noticeable due to the heavy rain but it was there. "I want to marry you Brianna, but you know what could ever hurt worse then any pain in the world? Not being loved back. It's the most painful thing I could ever deal with, More painful than drowning, actually. I can't have you no matter how hard I try. All I've ever wanted is to be loved by you but it's all over now, if you really did love me, you didn't tell me soon enough. I'm sorry I had to leave you all behind, I wish I'd never been born at all. Goodbye, Bri. Tell the band I love them. Tell my brother and Brian to be happy. Take pictures of the wedding and the little ones that will follow. I love you. Goodbye." I said to nobody and stood on the railing of the bridge. I turned around to see Brianna standing there. I lightly smiled as more tears fell from my face. I held the photo of the band and I tightly against my chest and slowly fell back. I fell into the icy cool water not making an effort to go up. The water was deep and rough but I kept the picture to my chest. I could tell the water started to carry me away. I slowly lost my consciousness..
3rd POV
"NO! LIZZIE!" Brianna yelled and took no hesitation to dive into the river. She swam and swam until she found long blond hair attached to a small body clutching a picture. She held Lizzie and dragged her to shore. She remembered her life guard training and she started to perform CPR. She plugged her nose and breathed into her mouth. "Lizzie, please! Don't go! Don't fucking leave me!" She screamed and started sobbing trying to wake her up. "You can fucking leave! I love you!" She breathed into her mouth once more before Lizzies eyes shot open and she violently coughed up water. Brianna hugged her as tightly as she could and sobbed. "I'm sorry, Lizzie, I failed you."
"Bri, you could never fail me, I'm sorry." Lizzie told her and kissed her lips.
"Don't be sorry, Liz, let's get you home."
