Inside: Each Second In Between

Part Infinity - Inside

Time has always been a fascinating concept. We know there is a limited amount of time. And yet, we think we have all the time in the world to chase the things we want or say things to the people we love. We talk about our future dreams, but we never take action. Time ticks and every second is wasted in the blink of an eye. And for me, I always believed it's too late to start. It's too late to chase that dream. The dream of being a dancer, or maybe a guitarist, or even an artist. Those dreams only seemed so far away because of the hope slipping away. But that was until I saw him through the reflection of the window with the most beautiful view, a dark sky with bursting stars and a moon coating it with a milky finish.

That boy, I soon to come find out, was Peter. Peter was from another dimension, but we could communicate through reflections. I spend every second possible with Peter. He made me realize things about myself and about life that I could have never seen myself. He helped me through the dark times and made me grow from them. He showed me that my dreams were never too far away to chase after. As I sat in that apartment day after day, I began to lean on Peter for my happiness. I guess I liked the way he helped me escape.

Although Peter made me happy, I still felt trapped in my own mind. The depression was still there. The anxiety haunted me. It never seemed to end. The lack of hope started to build on me. Sitting there with him did numb some of it, but it didn't seem to be what I needed. My dreams still felt missing. And I think Peter saw that too.

We sat there at our bedroom mirror. His reflection staring back at me.
"Peter.."

"I know, you need to go..You talk about it so much, your dreams. Go after them. I'd love to see you live it." A faint smile crossed his face, but tears built up in his eyes. "Even if that means leaving me behind. Promise me."

"Promise."

1 year later

I stood there in the dance studio. My eyes surprised me, my dreams right in front of me. As I looked back on the depression I battled and the fears I faced, I felt proud that I believed in myself to carry on. My life used to be filled with "What If"s, but now it's filled with facing my anxiety. The little girl a year ago could have never imagined herself in this light. Although I was now happy with my life, my mind still wandered to the things he said to me. His encouraging words carried on with me, they're what helped got me here. I think about my time with him. Every second with him felt like forever. Every second in between was our infinity.