F*ck You, Bro (Richie Tozier X Fem! Reader) 1

•Two•

Two | We're supposed to be having fun

Word Count: 1304

Warnings: Cursing, rumours of being a prostitute, a bruise, inappropriate comments.

Song for chapter 2 - "Kids" by MGMT

***

"That's poison ivy and that's poison ivy, and that's poison ivy-" Stanley pointed to random plants.

"Where's poison ivy?" Eddie asked, taking a puff from his inhaler.

"Nowhere, because not every fucking plant is poison ivy, Stanley!" Richie replied, getting frustrated by Stan.

Bill walked inside the sewer, I followed and Richie went after me. I grimaced, thinking about all the shit that could be inside the water.

"Well, I'm starting to feel itchy now, so-"

"Do you use the same bathroom as your mother?" Richie cut Eddie off.

"Sometimes, yeah," Eddie responded. I sighed, knowing what was going to happen next.

"Then you probably have crabs," Richie told him.

"That's so not funny!"

After noticing that Stan the man and Eddie spaghetti weren't coming inside, Richie turned around.

"Aren't you guys coming in?" Richie asked.

"Nuh-uh, that's grey water," Eddie grimaced.

"What the fuck is grey water?!" Richie exclaimed, starting to get annoyed by Eddie now.

"It's-It's-It's basically piss and shit, so I'm just telling you, you guys are splashing around in millions of gallons of derry pee. W-wait are you serious, what are you-" Eddie ranted, but noticed Richie picking up something.

"Doesn't smell like caca to me señor!" Richie said in his best Spanish accent with a goofy voice, while sniffing some kind of stick.

"Okay, I-I can smell that from here-" Eddie responded.

"It's probably just your breath wafting back into your face,"

"Have you ever heard of a staph infection?!" Eddie exclaimed.

"That's so unsanitary-"
"Oh, I'll show you a staph infection-" Richie said, picking up some weird plastic bag with the stick and throwing it at Eddie.

"NO!" Eddie screeched and jumped back, as the plastic bag landed near his feet. I could see Stanley roll his eyes and I quietly giggled.

I noticed Bill was holding some kind of shoe, so I turned my full attention to him.

"GUYS!" Bill exclaimed, stopping Richie and Eddie's bickering. Richie turned around.

"Shit, don't tell me that's..." Stan said with fear clear in his voice.

"No, G-Georgie wore galoshes," Bill explained, visibly upset.

"Who's sneaker is it?" Eddie asked after a moment of silence. They turned the shoe around to look for the initials.

"It's Betty Ripsom's." Richie replied.

"Shit- Oh, God, Oh, fuck! I don't like this!" Eddie muttered.

"How do you think Betty feels? Running around these tunnels with only one frickin' shoe!" Richie jumped around on one leg. Everyone glared at him, but I cracked a little smile (this girl is gonna have around the same humour as Richie, ok? I honestly don't see how the jokes aren't funny).