Illusions

Nightmare

I am laying next to the log.

A twig snaps.

The crunching of leaves gets closer and closer.

I see a dark figure peer over the log I'm hidden behind.

The figure raises the gun.

Bang!

I sit up in my bed breathing heavily. My hands are shaking as I use one to wipe the cold sweat from my forehead. Taking in my surroundings my breathing begins to even out. 

I take a deep breath causing the shaking to finally subside. All the real memories from earlier today came rushing back and I realized...that's not how it happened. I escaped. That's how I'm here. I'm okay.

I take a sharp breath in and look beside me at my amazing soon to be husband. I feel safe now. Smiling I lay back down and snuggle up next to him.

I glance at my watch dreading the thought of going to work: 0436

Ugh three more hours.... I cuddle up to Jason trying to make the best of the three hours I have left to "sleep".

Already too awake to fall back asleep anytime soon, I stare up at our ceiling fan. My eyes follow its movement as my mind drifts off to my dream as well as the events of yesterday.

Who would want me dead?

I aloud the question to linger in my mind waiting for an answer to reveal itself to me. Nothing popped into my brain....for all I know it could have been the janitor at my work.

Defeated, I push the pillow over my ears as if that would cause all these thoughts to stop. It didn't. I began going through a mental list of everyone I know.

Have I hurt anyone recently? Well certainly not enough for someone to wish me dead! Besides, everyone has enemies. So what would make mine wanna kill me?

I toss and turn hoping to knock these thoughts out of my head some how. I don't want to think about this anymore. I look over at the clock. It reads 0440.

"ugh!" I groan pulling my pillow onto my face tiredly. I kick the bed sheets off me, throwing the pillow into my bed and head downstairs to brew some tea.

The floor boards are creaky as I make my way down the stairs dialing Tracy, one of my friends.

The phone rings for a while before a chipper voice comes over the phone.

"Hey Carlie!" She answers the phone enthusiastically.

"oh um hi" I say a bit confused not really expecting her to answer. I put a tea pot on the stove and turn on the burner.

"What's up?" She asks casually

"I just..." my voice drifts off as I'm not sure how to tell her about the events from earlier that I am so anxious to talk with someone about. "just wanted to talk. It's been awhile and I couldn't sleep so I thought I might as well call you."

She laughs "at 5 in the morning?"

"Yeah" I let out a little laugh. "seemed like a good idea at the time." I pause a thought occurring to me "what are you doing up at this hour?"

"oh i'm still at work"

"Bummer! That new job at the research lab really seemed like it would be great for you" I respond recalling the day she applied for that job.

"Yeah, it works out though I suppose. Pays really well."

"Alright then" I smile glad that she doesn't seem to be having too much difficulty with this new job. "Tomorrow morning why don't I send you some dates we could get together and catch up?"

"Yeah! That would be great!" She answers me enthusiastically. "I will talk to you then."

"Alright, bye"

After hanging up the phone I pour myself a glass of hot tea and head back up to bed. Climbing back into bed I take a sip of my tea hoping to finally relax.

I sip on the camomile tea forcing my thoughts far away from my run the other day. I become more relaxed with every sip. Finally I am able to put the mug down and drift off to sleep snuggled up next to Jason.