Twins with A Bad Boy

Chapter 5: Not A Date

  "Aspyn."

  I am pulled back from one of my favorite memories by a deep voice that sounds almost unrecognizable, and I am staring at the boy, no man, in front of me. My emotions eventually catch up, and I am exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally. My heart is happy to see him, but broken that he left me. My brain is sighing happily that he came back, but mad that he never gave me an explanation.

"I- uh, I wasn't sure if you were still working here," he brings his pointer finger to his mouth and begins biting his nail, a bad habit he never seemed to kick, "but I thought I would check anyway." His voice sounds deeper than the last time we spoke, and it feels as if a blanket of warm sound has enveloped me in a hug. 

But I don't know why he is here, and it has thrown me off guard, making me anxious and nervous. I go to speak, but begin chewing on hair, realizing that letting my hair down from my work hat was a bad idea. I didn't even know I was chewing on my hair, I'm that nervous. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He beats me to it though, and begins talking again in a bit shakier voice this time, while still chewing on his nail. His nervousness eases me, and I begin to relax, which he seems to notice.

"I called, but umm, it went to the voicemail of a guy that was speaking Spanish," he chuckles, and scratches his neck with the hand he was previously chewing on, "I guess that's when I realized you must have gotten a new phone or number. And I know I have no right to just show up like this, but I know you'll want answers. You deserve them, and I want you to hear it from me first."

  Well at least now I don't need to tell him I changed it, he figured it out on his own. But of course I did when he left. He told me to move on and that he probably will never come back, so that's what I did. But he is back. He is here. Am I ready for this? Does he not remember what day it is? He seems to read my mind though, speaking again, a little more confident this time, "When and where you are ready.. if you are ready. If not, I will respect that. I know I'm not deserving of your time, at all, but I want to fix things."

My heart catches in my throat, fix things? What does that mean? Does he want to mend our relationship or our friendship? It could be one or the other. Or is he meaning something all together. But he is right, he isn't very deserving. Not the way he left things.  Despite that, my stomach still flutters with butterflies the way it did three years ago, and I can't stop the small smile that forms on my lips when he finishes talking. I nod my head, and hold up one finger at him.
———

   My hands are a bit shaky, but I am relieved to know that answers are coming. For everything. I had been wondering for almost three years, and now I was about to receive an answer to all my questions. Shit. Once it settles, I am terrified. Do I really want to know why he left? And why he is back? I will admit I am so happy he is back, but what happened in Australia and why is he suddenly this confident, sexy man?

Wait? Did I just call Cody sexy? Have I ever even used that word before? What is wrong with me? I mean I'm right but, wait stop no. I need to stop thinking that way. He just wants to talk. He is a man now, twenty years old. He has much better things to do than waste his time dating me for a second time around, because he clearly didn't like it the first time.

I shake my head, and walk back to the front of the shop to meet Cody. I turn off the main store light, and we walk outside the front door. We stand in the chilly night air, and I'm thankful that the rain has stopped and I remembered my jacket today. I stand at the door awkwardly grabbing the keys from my front pants pocket, aware that Cody is standing painfully close, close enough I can feel his hot breath down the back of my neck. I quickly lock the door, and return the keys to my pocket, hoping he'll get the clue to back up. He does, and my teeth begin chattering.

"We don't have to do this tonight, you know? I remember what today is, I didn't forget. And I know that this conversation is going to be emotional, so if you're not ready I get it?", Cody speaks quickly, noticing I'm freezing.
I shake my head, "No it's fine. I've waited three years, I want this.", I glance down at my watch on my wrist, "It's only six-ten, my mom is not off work until seven, she'll be getting Dakota from the airport once she's off, and we are meeting at the cemetery from there. We have time, where do you want to go to talk?"

My answer surprises him almost as much as me, this is really happening. I swallow my fear, I can do this. He smiles widely, and I'm not afraid to admit it is calmingly beautiful. It looks to reach his eyes as they crinkle at the corners, and I remember the way cute little dimples would form on his chin and left cheek. I find it funny that I remember them so vividly, three years later. I give him a genuine smile in return and begin counting the freckles on his cheeks, waiting for his answer.

  He looks in thought for a moment, before his eyes light up, a theoretical light bulb appearing above his head, "How about we go to Mint?" The second he asks the question, my nerves kick back into gear. Mint Diner held so many memories. All the secret dates there, when we met there on Thursday nights to spend time together in a way beyond hiding away in the tree house and binge watching Supernatural on my iPad, cuddled up on the green and blue bean bags.

  Mint Diner was a small, tucked away building that was very easy to miss if you didn't know what you were looking for. The outside certainly wasn't very appealing either, so unless you knew what to expect inside, you wouldn't feel any urge to step through the front door. The walls were a dirt brown, and the roofing was a weird off cream white, I suspected from years of dirt and rain build up. The parking lot was full of cracks and spots where the asphalt had been completely ripped from the ground, forming a gaping pot hole. Perpendicular to the diner was a buddhist church, a very long building, folding at the far corner to create a long L shape, which in turn covered Mint from the main street. From the main street there is one pull in to get to the diner, a patch made of small rocks and dirt, but after years of being unused, the grass and weeds grew over the dirty patch and you would miss it if you weren't paying attention.

  "I haven't been there since... well, you know," I cough to cover up my embarrassment, "are they even still open?" Cody looks down at his shoes, probably from secondhand embarrassment, and looks back up before saying, "yeah, I went there when I got back."

  "Oh. Has it changed much? I would love to go...", is this a date? When did he even get back? I thought he just wanted to talk. Is he trying to ask me to go back to the place where I realized I wanted to be more than his friend? My hands start to twitch in front of me, get it together dumbass, he isn't asking you on a date. He must notice my hands twitching, because his eyes soften more despite me thinking he couldn't look anymore sincere, and he smiles his dazzling smile at me again.

"As friends, to talk. Not a date, Aspyn." He chuckles after the words leave his mouth, a small chuckle, something I find myself having missed the sound of. I let out a large breath of air I didn't know I was holding in, and watch as the steam pours over his cheeks that are lit up by the faint blue light of the 'CLOSED' sign.

"Not a date."