- Chapter 11 -

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● Austin Mahone 

I was almost done packing when I decided I wanted to take a walk. I needed to clear my head from everything that had occurred during the week so that when I came back to school, I was normal. I was on my game. And my mind was completely clear of Juliet.

I wanted to go somewhere that no one would be able to find me easily. Before I went to the dock, I stopped myself. I knew that if I went there, Juliet would have found me in a heartbeat. She was the last person I wanted to see, though. It hurt like hell knowing that I could never be with her. To other people, it probably seemed like I only wanted her for her looks. Little did they know, I wanted her for who she was.

When she told me that she liked me back in middle school, I couldn't believe it. I liked her too. I remember wanting to make her laugh and smile as much as I could, because it was perfect. But then, I started dating Whitney. I remember her coming onto me so strong and it was nearly impossible for me to say no to her. Also, it didn't really help that I was a shallow person overall.

Was? A voice snickered in my head, indicating that I always have been and will be shallow.

Basically, I'd forgotten about Juliet because Whitney had me brainwashed. I couldn't completely blame it on her, but she was a major portion of the issue. It was even worse knowing that mine and Whitney's relationship didn't work out anyways. So, I lost Juliet for no reason at all.

None of that had to happen. If Whitney wasn't in the picture, things would be so different. All of my friends would be different. Juliet would be different. I would be different.

Somehow, I'd wandered off to the boardwalk. I didn't remember thinking that over in my head, but once I arrived, I wasn't disappointed. It was somewhere where I could just walk and no one would question me. I could just think and no one would question me. I could just let my mind wander to wherever I wanted and no one would question me. Because no one would know.

Burrying my hands in my pockets, I started walking. It was somewhat busy, but everything that was going on around me was all a blur. It was no one else but me and the boards beneath my shoes.

I wondered why I'd never noticed Juliet's feelings before. I wondered how she was feeling at the moment in time when we kissed at the end of the dock. I wondered if she felt those stupid cliché sparks like I did. I wondered if she told anyone about us. I wondered if it was going to stay this way until we graduate.

What if we never see each other again? What if she wants nothing to do with me for the rest of her life? I wouldn't blame her.

And that's how it continued. I walked and thought of what seemed like an infinite amount of "what if's." I wondered and wondered until it was put to an immediate halt. My normal pace dwindled down to me dragging my feet. My eyes narrowed at the figure about fifty yards away, making sure it was really who I thought it was. I could notice them from anywhere as of that moment, because he had to do with Juliet. He was Colton.

About a week ago when we all sat on the beach together, she'd yelled at him for some reason. A reason I couldn't quite remember at that moment. I tried to think back and remember what she said just before she left. She looked so angry. Hurt.

God, what was it?

I stared at him more, hoping it would come to me at the sight of him.

And then it hit me. As soon as he passed by me that night, I could smell the alcohol on him. I could almost taste it. I nonchalantly watched him as he practically threw himself beside her. She was uncomfortable. I could tell. The way she shifted slightly in her seat and looked down let me know how uneasy she was. He draped his arm over her shoulder and began whispering things in her ear, making her flinch. I could feel the jealousy radiating off of me. I wanted to run over there and tear him away from her. But I didn't. I just watched.

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