put it straight ✧ seungjin

IT HURTS.

with past memories that i have,
i ask you again even though i know.

seungmin hasn't spoken or seen hyunjin for two days. he has tried messaging him thousands of times; no answer. he knocked on his door; no answer.

he was starting to get worried that he might've ran away, but according to his mother who just came home from her business trip, he was just chilling in his room.

seungmin was utterly confused, why wasn't he answering seungmin? seungmin was his boyfriend after all!

❝ don't ask stupid questions that waste my time, seungmin. i'll see you tomorrow. ❞

those words lingered in his mind for the last two days. he wanted that question to be answered. he wanted to know why his boyfriend wasn't paying attention to him.

he decided to pay his boyfriend a visit and ask again. seungmin picked up some of hyunjin's favourite flowers, dandelions, from his garden. once he was happy with the bunch he plucked, he walked next door and knocked on the door on the hwang residence, only to be answered by his smiling mother.

meanwhile, hyunjin had just revealed to jeongin that he had a crush on someone. jeongin was dying to know who it was, he was hitting the older to try and get the answer out.

hyunjin never told him that seungmin was his boyfriend.

hyunjin cried out in laughter as jeongin was tickling him as if it was an interrogation. hyunjin looked over at the over with the biggest smile on his face. "fine! wanna know who it is?" hyunjin sat up and watched the boy nod adorably.

hyunjin cupped jeongin's cheeks and leaned in slowly. jeongin knew what was coming, so he decided to just kiss hyunjin already. they were both smiling into the kiss, the room was awfully quiet. although, you could hear the sounds of their kiss, it was calming for the both of them.

that was until someone came in, hyunjin looked up, terrified. jeongin was confused as to why one of his neighbours would barge in hyunjin's room like that.

seungmin's smile immediately went away after he saw the two boys connected to each other. how the fuck could he have been so clueless? of course hyunjin loves jeongin. he doesn't love seungmin. the pain in his chest was burning, his eyes were dreary and he threw his bunch of flowers onto the floor. "i knew it." he whispered, running away and out the house.

"seungmin, wait!"

is this how it ends?
are we done now?

hyunjin got up from the bed and ran outside, he felt rain pour onto his back. he grabbed seungmin's wrist and looked at him. the two stared at each other, hyunjin's eyes filled with regret and seungmin's eyes filled with sadness.

"do you still love me?" seungmin shouted at the boy, which made him jump in surprise. the younger's tears had fit in with the hail in the background. it was hardly hitting the ground. hyunjin didn't want to answer this question. but it was finally time.

"seungmin, i never fucking loved you."

that was when he realised he was being lead on that whole time, he thought that maybe he at least loved him at the start, but he didn't. he was never important to him. hyunjin let go of seungmin's wrist and went back inside his house, immediately kissing jeongin with passion and love once he got inside his room.

seungmin was left in the rain, and that is where he wanted to be, somewhere where nobody could hear his cries. he needed to take a walk.

a walk to the bridge. the place where he could finally say goodbye. the place where he can finally leave. the walk he took wasn't long, he wasn't feeling cold. he was feeling nothing. at that moment, he wanted to know how he felt to fly. he stepped onto the ledge barefooted, smiling while looking at the sky.

"i fucking love you, hwang hyunjin."

those were the last words before he stepped off the ledge, finally happy to be free.

where's the start of this?
i can't help but cry,
tears under my feet.
everything collapses.
i'm falling apart.