It's just normal...

Hi, this is my life...

                     Coming home from school with the usual resting bitch face, mom following behind shouting at every mistake she notices as if we are supposed to be perfect... it's just normal... Going straight in to my room shutting the door, locking it, throwing the bag on to the floor... it's just normal... Looking at my reflection in the mirror, pointing out all the negative things about myself and tricking myself into believing I'm optimistic about everything... it's just normal... taking a bath, wearing all black, turning off the lights and lying down only to be disturbed by the continuous arguments between my parents... it's just normal... taking my laptop, head phones on with the music on high volume not allowing a single word from my parents go through it... It's just normal... sinking with the lyrics dancing through my ears, recalling the past and how I have lived till now, regrets, mistakes, enemies, everything going through my head as tears stream down aimlessly... it's just normal... getting disturbed again with the banging on the door, a voice shouting from the other side that it's time to go to tuition... it's just normal... washing my face and putting on some powder to hide away the dark circles and all the stress marks, wearing the long sleeved hoodie to cover the cuts and bruises, putting on a fake smile and heading out... it's just normal... 

       

Extra classes, tuitions, studying for hours and hours till 6:00 pm, coming home for the one hour break, finishing the home works and taking a bath only to go to tuitions and school again... it's just normal... coming back around 10:00 pm and finishing the remaining home works for another hour and watching some videos until 12:00 pm... it's just normal... going to sleep and waking up at 3:00 pm, tears running down my face, breathing heavily and not being able to sleep after that, all thanks to a nightmare... it's just normal... finally getting some sleep after all the tossing and turning, at around 5:00 pm only to be woken up for school at 6:00 pm and parents shouting again because they think that I was playing games all night and didn't study at all... it's just normal... "why can't you be like her" "why did I give birth to you" "you are useless" "you never study" mom shouting at me and me looking down at the floor thinking why I'm even alive and why I didn't cut myself deeper that time... it's just normal...

                                                                                  To be continued...