Hey, you. Yeah you! Let me telly you the story I found Santa during Halloween. It was like any other Halloween. I go trick-or-treating, I get a bunch of Halloween candy, then I go home and watch scary movies in the dark. But that was until now.
It was the last house I went to because it was getting late and people were turning off their lights because they were getting tired and probably heading to bed (heh, cowards). Anyways there was one house with the lights still on, so I went to the house and rang the doorbell.
"Trick or treat!" I had said in an enthusiastic voice before seeing a big, black silhouette with yellow glowing eyes towering over me. The man said "Come in" "I shouldn't enter strangers' houses, just give me some candy please!" I said before he grabbed me by the arm and forced me into the yellow ominous light that was in his home.
My eyes adjusted to the light and I saw the big black silhouette form into the man himself, Santa Claus! So immediately, I asked him if he could get me all the things I wanted plus candy. "I'll be good!! I promise I'll be good!!" "Ok, well here's the deal. I give you all of that if you're good and you also tell nobody I live in this haunted house." "H-haunted? There are ghosts in here?" "Yep, all of those elves everyone talks about always haunt me before I fall asleep. Let me show you around!" So I followed mr. Claus for awhile. I was just amazed I could find Santa at all, even if it wasn't his holiday! But then things got creepy.
The ghosts were real, and they weren't just a white sheet with black dots on it! The elves had disfigured faces and terrible excuses for smiles. These were elves? Jeez, I wonder what mrs. Claus looks like. To my surprise, Santa was talking to the ghosts, "Jerry! Long time no see! How's the kids? Life been treating you alright?" "Selena!!! I heard that you got a job as a model! Great to hear. Don't let the weirdos get to you!" "And of course how could I ever forget Rob, ya big goofball! I saw you in the news, how in the world did you get on the news???"
This man was obviously gone senile and was dressing up as Santa. Santa doesn't talk to creepy ghosts with disfigured faces about life! he brings Christmas (or Xmas) spirit and presents to houses from all over the world! Then Santa whispered something in my ear, "Here sonny, you must be shy or scared around all of these ghosts, but I realized that ghosts need attention as well! Ghosts still count as people, after all. I got to know these guys and now I'm friends with all of 'em!" He had a point there, but then I realized something. What if Santa was insane, and this wasn't some old man that lost his mind?
Anyways everything was made out of wood and seemingly left abandoned for years. He also had a lot of sharp tools for some reason and his only piece of furniture was a wooden couch that didn't even look comfortable. After that he didn't even give me Halloween candy, he gave me CHRISTMAS CANDY.
So that experience had traumatized me and I got Christmas candy before Christmas. My point is, don't visit Santa on Halloween, he's such a scam. I thought he lived in the North Pole but noooo, he lives in my neighborhood and he's not cool at all!! He talks with dead elves probably a million years old in his spare time, probably divorced mrs Claus as well. Santa IS real and I talked to him before and he's fat and probably sits on his computer all day and weird and gross and weird.
FIN
(Happy Halloween!)
