To My Father

My little diary

        Dear Diary, How long has it been since I've talked to you? It's hard not writing to you and listening to the words I say over and over in my head. I never know if you will ever respond just another book to put your thoughts as a strange little girl.Talk to you soon, Rosey. This is my diary, or part of it just another messed up day that I can write about. Mostly about all the shit that goes on in my life... or what's left of it. I live with a brother, 2 sister's, and my mother it feels like sometimes I can never get to the other end of the house without whining and tears. I just hope I can just... leave and come back like 20 years later in a mansion with 12 kids and a limo, yea cause that will happen NOT.

        (At school) "Rosey, Rosey, Rosey, Hi, Hi, Hi" this is what my best friend sounds like everyday... annoying. "Hi Phillip, what's up?", "Well guess what I was walking down the hall talking to my other best friend I mean not better than you and" he said as I cut him off. "Finish your sentance man!" I scream but I really know he will still go on the same rampage of his jamble of words. The worst part is Phillip isn't only my best friend he is also my ummmmm.... boyfriend, yea a fifteen year old were her best friend is also her boyfriend. Listen well he asked me out and he is so sweet in a perverted... nerdy sort of way, well I really don't like him like that but he will NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. To tell the truth I hope he will break up with me because I can't break his sweet sensitive little heart.

        "Phillip I need to go to class" I say finally finding an excuse to escape. "Hety, so how's your life?" Tiffany says "Uhhhhhh....... just like any other day"

"You hesitated are you ok?"

"yea fine, uhhh I am gonna sit down now" I say.

        So listen I am not the most open girl, I am shy,sweet, and quiet but it is harder hiding in this school then being noticed so I try to be quiet and not say anything. I know they say that it is hard to fit in but I really just want to well... fit out? I don't know maybe that's just me, please tell me that is not just me or it will be very awkward "UGH".

        "Hey. What's up Jake?" Listen I know I am dating Phillip, but to tell the truth I have had a crush on jake the whole time. He is just... Amazing and cute and smart and... well... yea. I never get a chance to talk to him cause his girlfriend Ashley (or so she says she is dating him), she always has to snatch him up and drag him along. I mean I do like Phillip but not like that and I think Jake likes me too, I mean I have known him since kindergarden. I just know one day I will have the courage to break up with Phillip (and we will still be friends I HOPE) and I will be taken off my feet by Jake.

        "Hey, and nothing much just standing here talking to you" he says with a smile, but not any smile the one that makes me melt and makes me want to stop time just to stare. Wow that sounds creepy but it is the truth, the truth that I don't want to face. I finally noticed I was just staring at him and he was smiling at me then guess who walks up to me "Phillip", that surprised me since it is always Ashley. Phillip grabbed my arm and dragged me away "PHILLIP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!? I yell, "Really you like him?" he says angry, "No" (Iam lying).

        "Why are we in the janitor's closet?" I ask looking at his bright red face. "Oh you know why!" "....no i don't", he laughs a little "Quit being cute, now go to class you'll be late" he kisses my forehead and I leave. I wipe his kiss off as I left and rubbed it on the wall, I know that is mean but he knows I hate being kissed (by him).

        I went to class and sat next to Vanessa "Hey" she says, listen Vanessa is the kind of girl who you can trust with your life. She is like my best friend that is a girl , actually she is my best friend and Phillip but mostly Vanessa. She has had my back forever ever since I stood up for her at the fair, these people judged her for being stupid and ugly and Vanessa is the smartest, prettiest, nicest girl ever. I have known her for about 6 years and she is awesome and cool and my friend.

        After class I went to my locker and onto the bus and guess who was there "Jake"(Yay!). "Hey, wanna ride home?", "Yea sure" my hands were litterally shaking and I was sweating like a pig... hope he doesn't notice. I piled all my books in the backseat and hopped in."Buckle up" hoping for a you look nice or a how's your day but that works. "Ok" I say but I litterally live like 2 blocks from school and we where already at the house. "Well see you tommarow" he says nervously "Yea...uh you too" wow was that really it please tell me it wasn't. "Wait!... I'll walk you to the door" he says holding my hand, I was silent hoping we could stay here for a few more minutes "Well here you are" he says so close I can smell him... wow that sounds so creepy. "Well b-" Jake leans in and kisses me then he runs off "WAIT!" I scream, he turns around with a smile "See ya tommarow".