Palimpsest, n.

Untitled Part 2

Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there
The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air
It's hard

Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round
It's funny how things never change in this old town
So far from the stars

"What would you do now? It's been weeks." Yes, I know. It's been weeks. It's been weeks since I last saw her.

"I still don't know." I answered her with that puzzled look on my face.

"Aba, edi maghanda ka nang mas masaktan." She said as she puffs her cigarette.

"Grayce, stop it." Realization already bites me, okay. Ayaw ko nang makarinig ng bagong sermon.

"Stop, what? Alam mo Matt yan ang hirap sa inyo eh. You think after you realize your mistakes at pagsisihan yun dun matatapos lahat. Because you think that the wound you have now is a deep cut. But, honey no. You see, before mo na realize yan, unang napag tanto yan ni Nam. Ang hilig niyo kasing mga lalaki sa waiting game. You're in relationship with her pero hindi ka na pala sigurado sa feelings mo sakanya and you didn't even say a word to her or you didn't give her any clue na your having your doubts. What an asshole move you got there." She sarcastically laughed as she stated the fact.

"Because I don't wanna lose her, Grayce." I've been a jerk pero di ko naman hiniling na ganito ang magiging resulta. I still don't wanna lose her just because I have doubts.

"Cut the shit! Still you end up losing her. Matt, I'm no expert you know." She said as she lights up another cigar. "When you're in a relationship you make decisions that can benefit the both of you or can cause less damage. Pero sa naging desisyon mo, it doesn't benefit Nam, it even cause so much damage. It's a win-win situation for you pero sa kanya hindi. You expect her to be with you while you're figuring out your feelings for your ex whose been gone for 3 fucking years, bumalik lang then boom your confuse already. What an actual fucked up situation." She looks at me like I'm a disgusting creature she's staring at.

Silence... Grayce stop talking already because she know she already inflicted the pain she wants me to feel.

"You still don't wanna go home?" She asked me as she stares at the sky. I just shake my head as an answer. I don't wanna be alone. At least pag nandito ako I still have her even though she keeps on nagging.

The quite street was filled with noise when Grayce started cursing.

"Holy shit! It's 4 am already! Dalawang oras nalang mag oopen na ang shop and I still don't get any sleep. Shit!" She was still cursing while packing up her things.

Maybe, tulad ko she was filled with so much thoughts that she forgot to check the time. Ito ata ang pinaka mahabang oras na nakatambay kami rito sa harapan ng coffee shop na pinagtra-trabahuan nya. It started when Nam broke up with me. Wala akong ibang mapagsabihan kundi si Grayce. Grayce Garcia is my one hella nagging cousin but hindi naman siya ganyan dati. I don't know what happen to her because she's like the opposite of me when it comes to sharing stories. Halos nakwento ko na lahat ng nangyari sa kanya pero siya kahit ni isa wala pang naekwento sa akin.

"Uwi ka na. I need to get ready." She then started walking on the entrance of the coffee shop.

"Hindi ka na eedlip?" I asked her not wanting to leave.

"Nah. I'm still good." She said as she go in.

And I want to tell you everything
The words I never got to say the first time around
And I remember everything
From when we were the children playing in this fairground
Wish I was there with you now