What is Reality?

Do you ever feel like reality is a dream?

And I don't just mean it’s too good to be a true, but I mean mentally and physically, everything around you feels like when you read a book, you can see and almost feel it in your head, but there is something keeping you in the real world.

Imagine feeling that 24/7, would you believe you’re going insane?

Like you are just dreaming, when really you are just in a coma, or dead and you can’t leave this state.

The world around you feels fake, wrong and alien, like it’s not supposed to exist, and neither are you, do you feel like giving up on yourself?

And the only thing that you can do to feel anything is to help other people around you?

The world is too much for me to handle, I think I'm going insane.

I'm scared.

I'm scared to tell my parents because I don't want them to do anything, but I want it to stop.

I want to feel real and alive once again.

The only place that makes me feel better is when my mind is trapped in a book or my writing or is in the mind of a movie character.

But then I only feel worse when my tainted mind is trapped in the clouded reality.

My reality feels cracked and leaking, and I can't take it.

It is too much for too long.

It feels like it could be depression, but I don't want to tell people, I don't want their pitiful eyes upon me.

But then again, I want to tell them, but the craving is outweighed by negativity.

I want to do great with my life, I want to have a successful career, loving family and friends, but it feels pointless trying because of the black ooze of leaking through the cracks of reality.

What is the point of school when it is fake?

What is the point of trying to succeed in life if it is a lie?

What is the point of finding love if it feels that it is dying slowly?

What is the point of even cutting to remove the emotions if they just flood back in the hollowness of your body?

Are you scared to face the truth that you might be suffering from a mental disorder and go through the pain of losing everything and everyone you love?

I feel unnatural and empty, nothing but a shell, all I need is to feel the love and care of someone to keep me stable but it hasn't been enough.

I can't stand it.

I can't take it.

Who can I trust?

Don't.

Don't tell anyone your life, no one really cares, they might say they do but they don't, they aren't you, they don't know how you feel, and that drives you insane, doesn't it?

The feeling of being so alone in the world breaks you, doesn’t it?

To feel like someone cares, even for a brief moment too?

Don't trust anyone.

Don't.

Don't.

What is reality?