The Dark's Light

Black Veil

Wei Ying held himself close to Lan Wangji, or rather, it would seem that Lan Wangji held Wei Ying close to him. Even if Wei Ying had wished to, there would be no breaking the hold which the other seemed to possess on him. Wei Ying would not be shocked if he had nail imprints in his hips from how desperately tightly the grip was which Lan Wangji held him. The nails did hurt, just a bit, but Wei Ying did not dare make mention of such things. Who knew how the other would react? 

Though, it was less that than perhaps, his worry over the fact that Lan Zhan would react unfavorably. He doubted that his Lan Zhan would react badly if he was telling him that Wei Ying was in pain. Lan Zhan would probably instantly release him. It was that which made him not want to say anything, the fact that he wished to feel the pain. He wanted to know that Lan Wangji was still there in any facet that was available. That he was beside him and would not be going anywhere. Wei Ying craved the remembrance of his hold. Something which the soon to be imprints of Lan Wangji's perfectly trimmed nails would hold against his skin. Perhaps it was a bit...wrong of Wei Ying to desire such things. To even think of such things, Lan Zhan would undoubtedly think him shameless should he vocalize such thoughts. He was not sure that even Lan Zhan, no matter how accepting of his wildness the other was, no matter how much fondness the other held for him, would accept his willingness to be put in discomfort just to relieve the mental fear that he held close to his heart.

He wanted to. He really wanted to tell Lan Zhan what had happened and yet at the same time, he just could not bear to do it. It frightened him deeply, just how easily he fell into that fear. He did not want Lan Wanji to leave him, could not possibly bear the mere thought of such a thing. It was this fear that Lan Zhan would leave him once he knew what happened to him during his capture. Unreasonable, yes, Wei Ying knew, but he was unable to curb the treacherous thoughts.

So he kept quiet. He allowed himself to feel the slight prick of pain as Lan Zhan tightened his grip upon his waist, and closed his eyes, relishing in the feel of Lan Zhan's arms holding him close and the pain of the sharp fingernails digging into his flesh. He may have only been a Wen Captive for a short amount of time, but it had done quite a bit of damage to his psyche. He did not want the others to think him weak, nor did he really want to burden anyone with his emotions and fears and weight of his torment whilst under the Wens, so he kept it to himself. Determined to keep it to himself. He refused to allow such things to dictate what he would do, what he would continue to do. Sometimes, however, he found that it was near impossible. 

For instance, he doubted that Lan Zhan remained oblivious, despite his attempts to ensure that the other did not realize the fears which he held within his mind. The tormented nightmares which marred his sleep, he knew that Lan Zhan at least had some form of a guess as to what his nightmares were about. He would be unable to stop that, and the fear which rose within him every night...There was no stopping that. There would be no stopping that even if he wished it. 

Wei Ying breathed heavily once they reached the JingShi. He was excited. He was also nervous. He had not been within this room. He had traveled about the Cloud Recesses many times, and he had hung around the pavilion of the JingShi quite often with Lan Zhan walking him around and speaking to Lan Zhan and being within his presence, but never once had he entered within. He wondered what made Lan Zhan so utterly protective that he would deal with him basically living within the same space. It was difficult to believe that the greatest disciple of the Lan clan would be willing to suffer torment in such a way. 

He just held onto Lan Zhan, not willing to think of such disasterous thoughts. He did not want to think at all, just wanted to see. To see Lan Zhan, to feel him and tears began to fall as they walked into the JingShi. Lan Zhan saw, from the corner of his eyes, yet mercifully did not comment on the water which flowed from his eyes, and instead focused of readying the room for two rather than one. 

It was peaceful. An aura of calm serenity seemed to prevail within the small space. The first thing that Wei Ying thought was that it was so utterly Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan was peaceful. He exuded this presence of peace that all could simply feel from miles away. Wei Ying was not entirely certain if it was the Jingshi that was calm and peaceful, or if it was Lan Zhan's presence that made the Jingshi calm and peaceful, all he knew was that it was, and that it calmed his mind. As though he walked through a waded stream and Wangji was there, standing, waiting to aid you should you need it. Lan Zhan was so much to Wei Ying, and he doubted that he would ever be able to put them into words. 

So he didn't. He just watched the other, with fond eyes. Dark brown eyes sparkling with joy at the sight of his Lan Zhan wandering the room. peaceful. It was so peaceful.

So, it was in peace and with a calmness that he had not felt in ages, that he fell into Lan Zhan's arms not a moment later, exhaustion finally taking over.