Hell To Heaven [ BXB ]

Chapter 12

Michael's POV

Shawn finally walks away to his classroom while I stand still processing the meaning of all that's going on. With every thoughtful step, I myself make my way to my language class. The desk shifts with a creak as I land my butt on it with a thump. There aren't much people in the class right now. As I mindlessly scratch at the edge of the desk with my pencil, the thoughts take over me once again.

I can't help but wonder about how Shawn has been with me lately. He has been too nice. Should I be alert or be at peace? The way he assured me just now to not to worry about anything makes me think I should go with the latter. 

I woke up flustered due to the fact that I cried like a baby last night in front of him. And he didn't seem to mind one bit. If anything else, he is just being more soft and careful towards me. He almost gave me a lecture in the locker room that I must look for him whenever there is any problem. He has my back.

And heck if that mere fact didn't make my heart beat like crazy.

Consequences. I'm afraid of the consequences. The ones after the whole school sees me with Shawn, the ones that could occur when my father comes to know about all this. The ones that I surely won't be able to handle when my long gone feelings for him will start blooming again. What if those feelings never died?

What else can I expect from myself when my first strong crush decides to go all 'love and care' for me..the same crush, my feelings for whom have died down long ago? 

Or that's what I believe.

What's next? What should I do? Am I-

"Fuck! Michael!"

The one whom I have been daydreaming about appears right in front my face with a concerned look after I fall flat on my butt on the floor. Of course, the other creatures in the class laugh or rather, cackle.

Move out of my way idiot! It's 'cause of you why this happened! Who told this dimwit to appear right in front of my face when I was deep in his thoughts? I almost got a heartattack-

"Are you okay?" He speaks again.

Does it look like it boy?

The more we stay still in the same position on the floor looking at each other, the more I feel like my heart will combust any moment now. He gives a single glare that is enough to make the cackling beings in the class go silent.

Ok enough. 

"I'm fine." I quickly get up bearing the pain and take my seat. He keeps looking at me for a while before speaking again.

"Actually I came to give you your notebook. It was with me." 

"Okay." I take the notebook keeping it inside my bag.

He stands with his hands stuffed in his pocket and a ghost of a smile appears on his lips. What now? Just go. 

Without uttering another word, he walks out of the class before chuckling lightly. 

Am I a joke to you?

I see him talking with Thomas at the doorway as his back faces me. Thomas eyes me time to time making it obvious that they must be talking about me. But surprisingly, I don't feel that bothered. There's this new found calmness in me now that is making me more confident. Wonder how..

Surprise part two- Thomas doesn't speak to me even once but I don't miss the glances he keeps on passing my way. The period goes by and so does the first half. The cafeteria is full like always. I decide to go to the nurse's office. It's been a while.

The nurse seems content meeting me after so long and it makes me feel warm. She is really sweet. I mean she was the only one on my side everytime I faced any problem. I eat as well as talk to her in peace. 

I'm on my way to my next class when I decide to meet Shawn. To tell him that we won't be able to have maths class today after school. I am not going back to dad's house 'cause I would rather live on the streets than to go back to that hell hole again. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I need to find a place. My dad doesn't need to know about all that has happened or else I'd be dead for sure. As for Shawn..he would make me come with him again once I tell him about my plan. So it's better to keep my mouth shut.

I manage to look through the bustling crowd and my eyes land on his table. He is sitting there with his usual group of friends, their voices loud. But that's not what makes the warm sensation occur in the pit of my stomach. No.

It's 'cause of the girl - guess her name is Kayla - who is sitting right on his lap with her arms hooked around his neck. It won't be wrong to say that she is almost giving him a lap dance. They both whisper among each other, giggling and smiling. 

The place is full but ain't that full that she can't rest her ass somewhere else.

Unknowingly, my hands clench into fists and I'm unable to move my eyes away from the scene, though I desperately want to. It is usual for him to hang around with girls and get laid. I have never been bothered about his flings even once. 

What changed now?

The more she clings to him, the more I want to rip them apart. Seeing him give that soft smile that he has been giving me all this while, tears sting my eyes.

No you loser! Why in hell are you crying!?

My subconscious screams at me but I'm too invested to care. I don't know how long I stood there like that. I don't know how long Kayla and Shawn flirted like that. But it was long enough to make me accept the fact that the warm sensation I'm feeling is definitely not a positive one. It's jealousy. 

"Hey freak! Long time no see huh?" One among his friends on the table shouts on top of his lungs. And of course, I'm the center of attention of the whole cafeteria. Along with Shawn. He turns to me with the same soft face but his smile instantly drops when he notices my state. 

The people start calling me, some shouting funny names and some throwing things at me. Again, I'm too invested to bother. 

Just when my name escapes his lips, my vision becomes blurry and I couldn't handle it anymore. My tears become the reason of joy for everyone like always as the cafeteria ruptures in mocking laughter. I rush outside and don't stop until I'm inside the washroom before I rest my head against the wall.

What the fuck is wrong with me?! 

I know what is.

Why do I care?

I know why.

What is this insecure feeling?

The exact consequence that I dreaded the most.

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I know..update in a long time. Anyways what do you think Shawn told Thomas?

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