My Book of Random Stories

Sorry...

This isn't your fault. You didn't cause this. I hope you know you were my best friend and that I love you dearly. Please don't blame this on you. This was a long time coming. It wasn't you, it was the others. You always made me feel better. Made me feel like I was worth something but they were too persistent. But this note isn't a 'pity me 'cause I was bullied and need attention' kind of note...no no no, it's an apology:

I'm sorry...

Sorry I'm not good enough

Sorry I'm worthless

Sorry I'm dumb

Sorry I'm not pretty

Sorry I'm unloveable

Sorry I'm a mistake

Sorry I ruined your life

Sorry I'm me

Sorry I existed

Sorry I made you feel like you had to look after me

Sorry I'm such a screw up who can't do anything

I'm sorry I was born...

But I want you to know that I love you, you were the best friend a girl could ask for. I hope you understand that this was just something I had to do.

Something to stop the pain.

Something to make the bullies stop.

Something I had to do to be free.

Don't mourn the fact that I'm gone though. Just know that I'm happy where I am. Know that this is where I want to be. I'm home now. I wasn't home where I was, I was in hell. And if you think I wanted to leave you...I didn't but it was the only way for both of us to be happy. Your free to do whatever you want and not have to worry about me. And I'm free to live without fear.

Huh. Saying it like that sounds so surreal. No fear. No pain. No suffering. Just freedom. Just happiness. Just somewhere for me to be me without the fear of being judged.

Just remember that I'm happy now and that I will always love you and will always be looking over you.

Don't dwell on this for too long, live your life and be happy. You deserve it...after all the bullshit I've put you through...you deserve it.

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A/N-

This started out as a sad short story but at the end turned into an almost therapy session for myself. Is it bad that that's what is was like or is it normal to feel this way? Eh idc anymore.