Lucrecia's Legacy

Epilogue

My heart was thudding with a deafening beat.
My thoughts raced ahead of my worries, yet they were never far behind.
I knew that I wanted her, that I loved her, that I felt something for her that I had never felt before, something beyond the lustful heat.
However, I was afraid, afraid of being hurt again, afraid of it turning bad, perhaps even afraid of myself in that kind of situation, a situation where I would be emotionally blind.
I also knew that her kids meant something to me, that I cared for them.
So what was I to do?
In the end it was my fear that won, it tore me up inside, yet I couldn't go on, I had already turned grim.
I went to her and told her I couldn't move, that I had no life there, and it was over, just as quick as it had begun, I had avoided being hurt by her, yet still I was blue.
Time moves on and most things heal, yet this has remained with me through the years.
I awake in the night, reaching for her, or whispering to her, or caressing an imaginary breast that only existed in my past.
The years are all gone in that half waking moment, then they come back with the force of a thousand spears.
I had my chance, my soul mate, now it's all gone and only I'm to blame, and the guilt I feel is truly vast.
I hurt her before she could hurt me.
Left alone, all I have is her legacy.
A dream, a nightmare, a broken key.
And a heightened gift for poetry.