Rewrite the stars: A Hazbin Hotel reader insert

Chapter one

Hello my darling beasties! The first episode of Hazbin hotel is finally out, so you know what that means! It's time for me to actually begin to do some content for this story! That's right, now that there's a first episode of Hazbin hotel, I can actually do some chapters! Then I'm gonna have to wait another year or so until I can do some more chapters....*le sigh* But such is the life of a fangirl waiting for her favorite things! (And hopefully it isn't another two years before we get another episode)

Enough of that for now, let me just introduce some stuff for all of you:

You'll be getting your own character arc like the rest of the character, although I'm gonna have to figure out what exactly that is.... (And for some reference for later, you the reader are pansexual in this book) But I'll be getting to all of that stuff later!

And please excuse me ahead of time if I add a little bit of non-canon stuff to this, although I will be sticking to what happened in the first episode as much as possible so nothing is too different, but I also might add a little more character development and the like along the way .....(So I apologize in advance if this chapter sucks in any way)

Anyway, hope you enjoy the story!

Your p.o.v

The best way to live-so to speak-was through the super-saccharine buzz of sugar. To be floating in a cotton-candy haze throughout daily existence, punctuated with random bursts of sweet-filled mania..... A dream come true. Life(so to speak) in Hell wasn't actually all that...... bad. Sure it was Hell, but there was none of that eternal fire and brimstone bullshit that was spoon-fed into you during your first and only bible-study class-age at ten - You'd wound up calling the woman in charge an old bat and wound up cutting class to go and dick around at the mall for a couple hours- no, there was none of the pits of eternally suffering peons being tortured by cartoon red devils shoving pineapples up their urethras or whatever..... Really, you hadn't bothered to pick up a copy of the bible since age ten. Except to maybe snort lines off the pages of one during a party..... You snickered at that, imagining the horrified look on that self-righteous old bat's face if she were to see you now. Sure, she'd probably have a superiority complex over the fact that you'd been cut down in the prime of your life and wound up burning for your sins like the rotten  little girl you were....

But hell had turned out to be far more..... fun than you'd expected.....

An endless playground of debauchery, vending machines that literally spat out drugs, casual sex on every corner, the booze flowed as freely as the Nile river...... God, it was a hellion's paradise.

Sure, the yearly mass slaughters weren't ideal, but from the comfort of your penthouse apartment, a.k.a the Pink palace, it was best to wait out the day with a few of your closest bitches, a heavy supply of booze, drugs, and sweets, maybe toast to those poor idiots down below who weren't smart enough to outrun their eventual demise, and party the day away.....

One just had to overlook the constant threat of death looming over one's head and then everything would be fine!

And besides, there was always something to do to keep those nasty feelings you didn't want to deal with perfectly kept deep down within your core, where you wouldn't be able to think about them. Yeah, it was better that way.

It was just better to block out the shit you didn't want to deal with, push it down under a haze of sugar, booze, and pills when absolutely necessary, and wild sex when you absolutely needed it.

The three-maybe four- major vices. Just what every girl needs......

Honestly, it probably wasn't the most healthy way to cope with all of the shit in your life, but at least it was better than constantly drowning in waves of pain over so much of the shit that kept happening to you......