Lies We Tell ~ Dean Winchester

XIX.

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Dean
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I woke up when Erin started whimpering in her sleep. I shifted her gently, trying not to fully wake her up, but to just help her break out of the nightmare. She stopped, the frown smoothing from her face and she made a contented noise in the back of her throat and cuddled closer into me, splaying her hand over my chest.

I was awake now, just laying there holding her, with no clue what in the hell I did to get to touch someone like her. She was gentle and kind but below that she was so strong. Every time my skin touched hers she was stuck with all the fucked up shit in my head, but here she was. I leaned down and pressed my lips against her hair.

I shouldn't have done this, Bobby was right, she was a job, and as time went by I could see more and more how impossible it was to keep her from Yellow Eyes. So many damn people had died and I couldn't do anything to stop it, I didn't know what I could do to protect her.

I tightened my grip on her and she snuggled deeper into my arms, pressing her face against my chest. She frowned and I wondered if she felt it. If my restlessness somehow transferred through skin to skin. Was that an emotion?

She shifted and blinked her sleepy eyes open. "Dean?" She asked.

"Shh," I soothed, running a hand up and down her smooth back. "Sleep baby," I whispered into her hair, wishing I could make this moment last.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"Too early," I assured her. "We'll get on the road on the morning."

She shook her head with a frown. "I dreamt about him again," she told me in a small voice.

I tightened my arms around her. "They can't get in," I promised. I wanted her to feel safe at least for now, because once we left this room I didn't know if I could keep her safe from the demon. No one had been able to stop him yet. Hell, my old man had dedicated himself to hunting down that bastard but it hadn't done any good.

Erin shifted again, half asleep and I knew it was because of my shit. I slipped out of bed, pulling the blankets around her, she didn't need to feel all the ugly shit in my head. The clock told me it was a little before five a.m. I took a shower and got dressed before I woke her up.

It was still dark, fall in Minnesota meant the sun wouldn't be up for a while. Erin rolled towards me when I laid a hand on her shoulder, giving her a gentle shake. "Beckett," I said in a low voice.

She woke with a smile on her face that I couldn't help feeling pretty smug about. This was normally the time I either slipped out or kicked them out. It had been a long time, probably since Cassie that I actually stuck around after. I had thought I had been in love with Cassie, that she was something special, turns out I just hadn't known what that was.

Erin wasn't like Cassie. Cassie had been no-nonesense and sassy, with an edge to her that would cut if you pushed too hard. But Erin...Erin was kind.

Whether she had always been that kind or if it was a direct result of her superpower I couldn't imagine Erin striking out to hurt anyone's feelings on purpose. And yet, there was that underlying strength to her that I had only caught glimpses of. She wasn't a victim. She faced the demon and stood toe to toe with me against them. She was stronger than even she knew, but it was that gentle kindness that made me feel like I needed to protect her, Even from me, maybe especially from me.

I was such an asshole. I never should have touched her last night but for just once I didn't want to feel like shit after what I needed to do for the job. Erin understood the job, when I broke the truth to Cassie she had called me crazy, cut and run, but Erin grew up around a hunter, and she hadn't blinked when things got hard.