Huntsman

5

"Death says every wish has a cost. Every bit of its power. At this point, I think he might be lying to me, or at the very least exaggerating the cost. Still, I will go through with it. I must. For Divencia, I must. Oh, if only the civilians could see, and understand what I will and have done for the kingdom. Soon, the kingdom will be purified and independent. I will not rest until it is such."

-from the journal of Queen Evelyn, dated the twenty-fourth day of the month of Harding, in the fourth year of Queen Evelyn's reign.

Pain.

Unending, excruciating pain.

There was no end to it. I was not sure there was ever a beginning. Just pain. Always. Pain that would not stop, would not dull, yet seemed to get even more painful regardless. Even when I thought that now, finally it had to end. Had to.

But it didn't,

Stronger and stronger it came. I became slightly aware that somewhere under there, my arms were being held down. By Death's own hands, or its phantom grip I didn't know.

Didn't care.

Not anymore. Perhaps even to stop from struggling, as Death no doubt knew I was past struggling. Perhaps simply to stop from surging and surfacing. The jolts the pain sent through me, everywhere. Inside, outside.

I couldn't hold on. No. it hurt, so so bad.

Light. Then darkness. In that pattern. Again, and again.

Light. piercing and ghastly, worse than any light in this world, or the next. Bright, unearthly light that rendered my eyelids helpless, any covering diminished. Burning, right into my core, enduring.

Then darkness. Sweet, welcomed darkness. Darkness that turned on you, the unseeing sister of the light. Equally unearthly, nothing to be glimpsed.

Even then, as the pain writhed through me, concentrated on my eye, I cried out, oblivious to anything else. Let the servants come. Let them see. No doubt Death had planned for it. Even being found out.

Nothing, absolutely nothing could be worse than this pain.

I just wanted--no needed-- it to end. Needed it to stop, flood me with sweet craved relief.

But it didn't. Again and again, it struck. Getting harder and more painful by the seconds, or hours. However long I was stuck there, it may have been years. Even a second of the pain was worth a lifetime of heartbreak.

Light. But was it?

Dark. Of course not. No. No, Divencia. For Divencia, anything was worth it. Never to be touched, never to be sent dropping to the depths when another crashed. For Divencia, I'd do it again. And again. A thousand, million times over.

I'd find ways. A million times, a million things to sell my soul for. And others. Whatever it took, I knew one thing for sure.

Everything required something.

Everything required sacrifice. Anything on this earth took something from you. Or someone else. It was simply the way of the world. Kindness was a front. Lies and sweet sickening smiles to cover up the sacrifice of everything you held dear to.

So many people, so long ago. Sacrificing so much for 'kindness'.

No, this was better. Better, infinitely better. For ages, Divencia had ruled and relied solely on so many others, never alone. Never by itself. And when one fell, when the debts were finally--and inevitably-- called in, everything..

Everything.

Crumbled.

So I bore it.

The pain. The burning. The confusion. Again.

Light, that scourging pain, branding wounds of hate into me, again and again. The malice, the pain of Death, brought onto me.

The power.

Dark, that confusion. Unseeing. Dead. Empty, but occupied. Fear. Endless fear in that dark. Ageless, but infinite. Blank but not. Whatever scraps were left of me quaked, pathetic.

And light. Again. Searing through my eye, then moving down. Pain, like I never thought possible, flooded me, yet took everything away. Stripped me, leaving the worst.

For good, the darkness whispered to me, yet again.

The pain was all I could focus on, bearing down as I repeated it, the two words now branded in my mind. For good. For good.

Darkness came, finally. Whispering, ethereal. Sweet, craved relief would come soon, it told me. Numbness would reign. I would be free. Soon. Soon.

Not with the light.

The light, hot, no- more than that. Too searing to explain, to even dream of in the depths of night, burned through my chest. Oblivious to my screams, it carved out, cutting through, completely unfeeling.

The pain-

I was right to fear it, the darkness whispered. Sweet, cold darkness. Right, to hate it, hate it with every breath. It was the opposite. It was cheating, it was pain. It was hurt.

It did hurt,.

So much, cutting so deep it hurt to breathe.

And so I learned to hate it.

Learned to loathe it with every sensation, the dark finally relenting some blessed relief. When would it ever end? Would it ever end?

Soon, soon the darkness whispered. Promised.

Sweet unending darkness took over, banishing the light. I loved it, accepted it as it caressed me. It's silken arms soothing my wounds, filling the emptiness. The coolness fusing with me, filling me with reassuring power.

Unleashing.

I became it. It entered me, and we were one. That darkness that would not let me down, that would finally liberate Divencia.

It was done.

The room came into view. my wounds numbed over by the delightful coolness of the dark inside me.

My eyes slid slowly to the floor, examining the remains. A dress lay in tatters, barely tangible on the cold unforgiving marble. I smiled, not thinking why.

Then shoes.

Small, with silver buckles, thought impeccably polished.

I squinted, my eyes travelling upward.

Death, or what was left of it. Small, so controllable. I would use it well.

There he-it stood. My eyes-no eye widened in the slightest as I beheld his.

Mine.

My eyes. Depthless ebony jewels, set with an expression far too old for his small frame. He smiled slightly, pale as ever. I had just glimpsed him holding a scrap of dress fabric before he disappeared in a blink. As if never there.

I looked back to the floor where the dress, too, had disappeared. As if never there.

Naked and bare, I slid my hands over my chest, where only smooth porcelain skin lay. No scar whatsoever. A secret I'd hide.

In the glass though...

A horrific scar, stretching past the eye. Framed with warts in discolored skin, set on deformed bones. And nothing in it. Until a milky white sphere, almost misty, appeared in its place. Unseeing, still. uncomfortably smooth, it fitted perfectly within my palm. And in the socket.

I blinked. Once. Twice. It couldn't be. That wasn't me. That was not the face in the dreams of Derin, the nightmares of the kingdom. It was the face of a monster, of an animal. Worse.

The new eye maddeningly refused to shed a tear, out of disgust, out of fear. Fear that gripped my chest in a vice. It was ages until I came to my senses.

I would have to order a mask for that.

And what better way to make its debut than a masquerade ball?