How to Save a Star [BxB]

IX

Chapter Nine

Awe I never felt in years held me in place; warmness lingered in my chest. I remained still, my face bathing in the luminous morning light through the window. The birds chirped which sounded like music to me. I pulled the pillow Yeren used last night and embraced it dearly. I gently closed my eyes. His faint smell made me so full, so happy. There was nothing I could do but feel, and be absorbed by the moment.

Fantasies rolled, like I was making a film of us, together. I imagine myself living with him, thinking of the things that we can share and the jokes we'll laugh at. No language could explain the happiness welling up within me. I was going to explode. It was too overwhelming.

'I think I am falling.' His words repeatedly played in my head. I returned the night before, to the time when he clasped me in his arms. It was what made me the happiest. What I had wasn't mine alone, Yeren shared them with me.

The lower corner of my bed stirred and I felt someone sit on it.

"You looked really happy, kuya," Eris said as I opened my eyes. "Did something happen?"

"Huh?" I gave her a puzzled look. "What made you say that?"

"Look at your face, kuya, you were smiling like a mad man." Eris rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. "When I entered your room, you're already awake but you didn't seem to notice that I was here. Heck, you even hugged that pillow while saying someone's name." A spasm of panic surged as her stare turned into a mischievous smile. "It's almost as if you're in love."

"What are you talking about?" I cried out in disagreement.

Eris shook her head as her lips widened to her ears. "Did something good happen last night?" My heart ached in horror. It implied something. I knew she was asking to let me know that she knew about it.

I leaned my back in bed and threw a pillow at her, and looked away, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeren," Eris said in a childlike but comical manner as she hugged the pillow I threw at her. She burst into laughter.

Fear took over. I was breathless. The traces of happiness vanished in an instant. I was horror-struck, wanting to just disappear at that moment. All I could hear was the sound of her snickers as I stared unseeingly somewhere else.

I felt a sudden, light pinch on my cheeks. I looked back.

"Why do you suddenly look so glum, kuya?" Eris gave me an encouraging look. "It's not like I'm gonna sell you out."

I stared in disbelief. An alienation for myself grew in a minute. It was hard to trust her, about something that I couldn't even understand. But there was nothing I could do other than feel, and be lost to the sensations that were foreign to me. Foreign yet I held it with such care. I wondered how it was wrong or why our society looked at it with such disgust when it felt so right; when all I did was love.

"Kuya," Eris called out. I bit the back of my lower lip, realizing that I've been staring somewhere else; lost to my thoughts. Her smile gleamed with perfect sincerity, then she sucked a deep breath. "How do I say it? I don't know what you've been thinking but you can trust me." She beamed again. "Honestly, I don't even see anything wrong about it."

Her words hung for a moment.

"Are you sure about that?"

She nodded, "Pretty much. And, kuya, remember this, I will be the last person to deny you of your happiness."

"Great," my lips curved into my ears. It was wonderful, knowing that someone understood. Hearing her words lifted my doubts. I found the kind of encouragement to assure myself that nothing was wrong with it.