Sharp-shooting, scum-reading Vigilantes

Sharp-shooting, scum-reading vigilanties

All is quiet in the small town named Salem, nothing but sounds of the roosters crowing in the distant grazing fields can be heard for miles, slowly stirring the residents of the quaint town awake. Deodat Lawson, a man not known for his brains nor his brawn is one of the first townies to arise that fateful morning. Deodat was known for spying on his neighbors, as if he were watching their every move, as if he figured that any character he came into contact with was a shady individual. Mary Warren, his well endowed neighbor steps out of her doorway sporting a new red dress and bright purple stilettos, truly a beautiful sight to behold so early in the morning. "Good morning, Deodat." She calls over to her grizzly neighbor, suddenly clearing her throat once she noticed his piercing gaze, making her all too uneasy. 

"ALRIGHTY YOU LIL SHITS, I WANT ALL TP/LO/ESCORTS/SPIES/ARSOS ON ME OR YOU'RE EXECUTED!" Screeches Giles Corey from across the town square, oh great, not another one of these jailors. "MAFIA/SK/ARSO/CONSORTS/BMMERS CAN ALL BE ON ME!" Another voice shouts, Sarah Wildes,always a suicidal one she was. Groans and low mumbling could be heard from amongst the rest of the townies as the sun suddenly begins to fade away behind the stretching hills of the West. Strange how time seemed to go within a blink of an eye in Salem, nevertheless, everyone retreated to their homes for the night. 

Within Salem there were a few ladies of the night, all getting dressed in their best attire to seduce their chosen client of the night and what a lucky man Deodat was! He and that gorgeous woman had one hell of a night however, they made him wear a bag over his head...strange he thought but, anything to get laid at that point. As quickly as the night came and went, so did the women of the night, only to gather around the town square once again. Oh no! Poor Jonathan Corwin was attacked and murdered by the mafia, leaving nothing but a blank will behind of course. It wouldn't be a day in Salem without someone having no will at all. Poor medium, never even had a chance to scribble out a prayer to the Gods for the med curse not to strike them dead.

"N1:B:Giles Corey[3] (Rbbed) MV - Jonathan Corwin, Mary Warren, Deodat Lawson." A proud William Hobbs proclaims, stunning will as always from a spy claim. "MARY, ROLE OR GET EXE'D." Screams the jailor, they never seemed to have inside voices, always crying out at the top of their little lungs. "Escort Sir, I slept with you last night." Mary answered, pulling her will out of her bosoms, unrolling the wrinkled piece of paper to show to the town. Suddenly, something in Deodat's mind clicked, HE was roleblocked last night! Mary could't POSSIBLY be escort, that spy was fake too! They HAD to be!

"JAILOR, I WAS ROLEBLOCKED LAST NIGHT, MARY IS CONSORT!" Lawson shouted like a madman, getting nothing but scoffs and "Wtf"'s from the rest of town. 

"Uhhh....she's literally confirmed escort, they were visited by the mafia and the spy got the rbbed bug, hello??" Abigail Williams scoffed, rolling her eyes and wondering how people like Deodat were even in her league. Clearly she was far superior to the simple minded Deodat and the rest of town. "SHE'S CONSORT I KNOW SHE IS!" He continued to screech, causing most townies to ignore him by placing earmuffs over their ears, essentially muting him. "Alright, VFR." James Bayley commanded, he seemed like a credible enough person considering he was caught whispering the the jailor earlier in the day, beginning the voting process. While the rest of town began voting to get the townie who lived in the first home of the town square up, Mary Warren decided to vote Deodat Lawson. The way that he was aggressively pushing her made her believe that he was the Executioner and that she was his poor, unsuspecting target. 

Enraged by the sight of seeing a single vote cast on his name, Deodat leaned over and whispered to Mary. "I know you're consort, you're going to fucking regret this." He seethed, finally casting a vote on the first townie so they didn't waste the first day doing absolutely nothing. William Phips was the first townie to be cast up onto the stand. The town waited for him to speak, getting nothing but an eerie silence and a blank stare from the man before them. "Uhhh.....is he even here?" Asked the Jailor, getting nothing but shrugs and some "I guess so"'s in response. "Just guilty it, a dead potential townie is better than an afk one." James Bayley reminded town, and unanimously, poor William Phips was hung with a clear vote of 12 to 1. The Jailor of course innoed, why wouldn't he when this so easily could've been Jester? Two townies abstained, one of those being Mary Warren, she really didn't want to vote on someone who could've easily been just an afk or laggy town. Little did the ravishing escort know, that abstain had sealed her fate in the eyes of the not so sharp shooting vigilante. Town waited in anticipation to see what in the world William Phips could be, Janitor? Witch? Maybe even Werewolf or Arsonist? To the horror of the rest of town, William was none other than their own mayor. Screams of unfathomable anger roared throughout the square as the sun began to set.