Love & Pain (BTD Strade x Reader)

A Choice With No Regrets

When I closed the basement door behind me, I wondered why I had even gone down there to begin with. I tried to reason that it was because I wanted to help the girl, save her from the fate that awaited her. Maybe even out of pity. But if that was the case...why did I left, without even trying to untie her wrists. Again, I tried to reason that it was because it was reckless, that it could get the girl and Ren killed. But deep down, I knew that it wasn't it. That moment when my hands froze, refusing to move and free the girl, I knew. I feared that it would happen to me this soon.

Stockholm syndrome.

I had seen the results of it on Ren and tried to convince myself that I would never feel sympathy for Strade. That I would not fall for his games. Unfortunatly, my mind was on the brink of surrendering. But I can't prevent it...can I ? After all, I have an ally who wants to leave this house just as much as I am now...but did I want to leave ?

- "What are you doing up at this hour ?"

I felt my heart stop in my chest as I turned to see Strade, leaning against the wall close to me. His eyes stared into my soul as he waited for an answer.

- "I...couldn't sleep." my mouth was dry and I struggled to form a coherent sentence.

- "Really ?" he walked towards me.

I was sweating and shaking, trying my best to keep my composure. Had he seen me come out of the basement ? I stood frozen in place as Strade looked down at me, his face showed a serious expression that I had rarely seen before. It was as if he was looking for anything on my face that could incriminate me. But then, he smiled and backed away.

- "I guess you're right !" he told me, his usual grin back on his face. "Happens to me too sometimes, no big deal !"

I sighted in relief when he stated that I should go back to my bedroom to sleep. He didn't see me after all, that was some good news. I walked pass him, smiling to myself that everything had gone well after all. But after I walked a few feet away, I felt a sharp pain on my neck. I fell to the floor as the shock collar around my neck sent me waves after waves of painful shocks.

- "Did you think I hadn't noticed your little escapade downstairs (F/N) ? I'm disappointed."

Strade moved to my side, looking down at me with a malicious look on his face. He held in his hand the shock collar controller. I tried to get up, but the burning pain around my neck prevented me from doing so.

- "You should know that I'm a very, very light sleeper. Though I gotta say that you did a good job at keeping the noise down." he crouched, moving his face close to mine. "But you can't hide stuff from me."

I wasn't listening, crying in pain and desperately trying to take the collar off my neck. Even with all the precautions I took, he still knew I would be up to something. When Strade finally stopped the shocks, I gasped for air, tears in my eyes. I tried to say something, but my mouth was dry, my vision blurry and my head was spinning.

- "I expected you to do something like this the first time you saw me bringing someone in the basement, but there's something that's bugging me." Strade explained, staring into my eyes as I leaned onto the wall behind me for support. "I thought you would at least try to help her escape."

- "What makes you think I didn't help her ?" I managed to slowly speak up, wondering what Strade was implying by that.

- "I can see it right on your face." he walked closer to me. "Like I said, you can't hide stuff from me."

I tried to say something back, but I couldn't find anything to say. He was reading me like an open book, to a point that was uncanny to me. Then, the grin on his face faded away for a more serious expression, as he asked me what I missed so much about my old life.