Today I saw this girl walking outside the shopping mall. If you'd look at her, you wouldn't notice anything special; just a normal teenage girl. But I kept watching and for a moment she looked up. I could see the pain, deep in her eyes. I saw a smile, but her eyes showed how scarred her soul was. I wanted to walk over to her, hug her, tell her everything was going to be okay. While I took my first step towards her, her eyes met mine. A warning glance, not longer than a second, but I knew what it meant: mind your own business. She had me in this kind of trance and I don't why, but I think I might have fallen in love with a girl I don't even know the name of. I have never seen her before, not in this neighbourhood, not in my school and especially not at the shopping mall.
I was about to buy something for my foster mother, whose birthday's tomorrow, but I got so distracted after that girl, I forgot it and just bought some lunch. My mind was like soup - all of my thoughts were thrown together but whatever I tried to think of had a strange thing with a blond girl in it. Like she was the main ingredient and the rest was just some extra stuff. Stuff that wasn't important and that definitely not matched the list of things I had to take care of right now. As I sat down at Subway, I tried figuring things out; I want to know the story of this girl, no matter what. Yes, I want. I still want to. I guessed a lot, but I can't know the truth if I didn't ask. I made this promise to myself, if I see her walking again I will get my *ss over to her so I can talk to her. Maybe not about her problems, just coming close to her. She's like the girl I dream of. Blond, but pretty. Not slutty or bitchy. Pretty.
Now it's 3:46 a.m. and I'm still wide awake. I've been staring at the ceiling for the past four hours and I still didn't get tired. I don't know what to do. I don't know her name, her school, her address, her number, I know nothing. I don't get why she has taken over my mind, like a demon on a dark day. Her claws are in my skin and they refuse to let go of me. The more I try to get rid of her, the tighter she holds me and the more it hurts. She haunts me. I'm scared to fall asleep, she'll show up in my dreams. I thought writing this down would get her out of my mind, but she only multiplied herself. I could go on about how much she has taken over my mind, but I don't think it'll add anything to this. This is going to be a long, long night. Music is pounding through my ears but I don't hear a word of what Mitch Lucker, Vic Fuentes and Corey Taylor are telling me. My mind is getting blurry. I need to rest. I need sleep. I can't sleep. This sucks. Bye.
