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I could feel my heart pound like crazy as the bus had reached the very final stop- the one that I feared the most. It was no regular city for me- not because of the infamous villains and many attacks in public spaces- but because this city held my dark and buried deep down past.
I knew I had to get off the bus, since the driver was giving me suspicious looks already, but my legs stood stuck in place. It was as if as hard as my brain was trying to reason with my body to walk out of the bus like any other normal person would- but my body decided to play deaf. Only when he started approaching me-probably to comfort me- did my trembling legs start to move.
You can do this (Y/N)....,I took a deep breath and started walking in and out of the dark, mysterious alleys of Japan.
It was the same day when the incident with my so called "step brother" happened, five years ago. It has always been hard for me remembering that day and having to find ways to cope with it all alone- but this time was different and was definitely going to be unbearable in every possible way than any other same day of the year.
First off, I was in my hometown, which was disturbing enough for me as it is. But another factor that terrified me was living in the same place as that asshole and young me used to live together. I had no friends nor family to turn for a place to sleep and maybe even some affection. So this was my only choice left. No, I actually had a choice. It was either the spooky skeleton house from any haunted house from an anime cliché that almost every single main character had one tragic past that hides it inside of this place OR being homeless. But I preferred the cliché choice anyway, since it was 2 am and I was tired as hell.
With my heart sinking, I grabbed my stuff and headed towards the rather abounded building. I found half- tore down stairs in there and a lot of spider webs could be seen on the ceiling. I climbed the stairs with a high level of difficulty and turned towards my old apartment. I unlocked the door with the key hidden down the doormat, where my stepbrother used to keep it and entered the place. It was exactly as I left it that day- only dustier and dirtier. The room smell like dry blood mixed with dust, which flood back all the disgusting memories and made me want to puke right then and there.
I opened the window, with my head spinning from the destructive smell and let the cool breezing air fill the room. It was super later at night, around 1 am or so, but I already knew I wouldn't have been able that night anyway. So the option that was left was to clean and put back together this place.
This prove to not help my already emotional state at all, since all the rooms in there brought back memories I wish I could just delete from my head. It lead me into a merge of tears and uncontrollable sobs coming from me, which in the end lead me falling asleep on my old, confy bed, exactly were I took my step brother's life away. It still had the smell of his blood and you could still figure out some unwashed blood stains on the sheet.
It was one of my most hard-breaking decisions, but I knew I was making the right one. It is for the best- for both the heroes and myself. I just hope I am going to be okay throughout it. I want to be strong.
