Between Us (all of us #1)

T H I R T Y F I V E

A U B R E E 

I sat with my legs crossed until it became uncomfortable. More uncomfortable than the silence between Trenton and I. But again, I asked for this. I told him to forget about me because I was in denial of how I felt for him, I still am. I still feel guilty. I still feel unsettled, but I still love him.

I still love him and I know he still loves me.

Gio was helpful enough to fill the awkward tension between the three of us with his ridiculous banter and jokes. He got Trenton to crack a couple of smiles and every time they came, I silently melted like I always do but so much harder now that he's so distant.

Something told me I'd be most helpful if I went in and checked on the progress. I feel this is mostly Chloe's mother's territory, so I'm not going to barge in much, but I feel I have a right to check in occasionally and give some support. Let my son know I'm still here.

Roger isn't. He left days ago to Atlanta and I don't speak to him much, so I have no idea when he's returning. I assume Diesel called him and told him the baby was coming within hours, but whether he knows or not is none of my concern.

"How's it going, girl?" I ask, my mouth curved in sympathy. I remember this day when it happened to me. I was a wreck. I had no one but my mother by my side and was left to wonder when Roger would come, and if.

"It's going." She blows out a breath and I have to admire Diesel for a moment. Her hands are in his and she's leaning toward him as she rides out the pain. He's there because he knows he's supposed to be, but I also can tell he wants to be.

He's surprised me lately. I haven't interacted with him much because he's been absent from the house, but from what I have seen of him, I'm so proud that he's turned out to be nothing like his father after all.

Chloe's mother is by the window, on the phone speaking medical terms and from the sounds of it, she must be relaying the process back to Patrick.

Diesel glances at me and although his face is still, I can tell he appreciates that I'm here. It's like he's acknowledging me for the first time in years.

I dismiss myself after that, not wanting to overstep. Diesel can be easy to trigger and I take that look as the first step in a good direction.

I stroll down the hallway on my way back to my seat, my body tensing at the fact that I'm subjecting myself to being ignored again for the next eight or so hours. I wish Trenton would at least have more to say to me than one word answers, but it's not like I can really expect more from him.

Purposely, I sit in the seat directly in front of him, but not without noticing the snores coming from the corner of the room. "Is he asleep?"

"He definitely is asleep." Trenton slides further into his seat, his legs widening like an invitation for me to sit on his lap.

I miss him. I miss not only what we were, but what we became. He's right, our relationship was always different, but he made it that way. He made me love him as a friend until he could make me love him as a man, and I want that man back.

"Is this how it's going to be from now on?" I ask, prompting him to scoff and bring his head back until it's propped up against the wall.

"This isn't the time to talk about that, Aubree."

"Well, is there ever going to be a time? I just want to know that we're okay."

"We're fine." His eyes are wide at me like he expects me to believe that, but I don't because underneath them is a flicker of uncertainty.