normal

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by soulwriter1699

by soulwriter1699

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Am I a normal American teenager?

Let me tell you what a normal teenager is.

Normal teenagers have normal emotions.

I’m not normal.

Is it normal to cry every single night of things that happened in the past?

It is normal to look at my wrist and crave pain each night?

Is it normal to look at my house whenever I come home and wished it burned down?

It is normal to have mixed emotions when I wished to be happy?

Tell me am I normal. Make me feel normal.

Don’t look at me like I’m a sick teenager who lives for pain. I HATE pain but it is the only thing that makes me feel normal. Normal teenagers feel pain so why shouldn’t I?

When I look at myself in the mirror I wish I was thinner so people won’t call me fat anymore then I’d plan to fast is that a normal thought?

Is this normal to throw up my food each time I eat so I won’t gain any more fat?

Tell me is that normal

I wear makeup to hide the ugly girl behind it.

Is this my punishment from committing so many sins?

Well I’m sorry. Just take away all of this. I don’t want to think of this anymore

I don’t want to see a fat girl that’s not normal

I don’t want to see an ugly girl that’s not normal

I don’t want to see a bleeding girl that’s not normal

I don’t want to see a suicidal girl that’s not normal