SHALLOW DEPTHS

Chapter 9

       Tension filled the air, I thought I could hear Cyril's heart racing, but it was mine. I turned to look at Cyril, the passion in his eyes were gone, he kept looking at Richard, still staggering, he found his voice.

''Who are you?'' he managed.

The question should have been '' when did he get here, how much did he see, and what did he intend doing with the gun in his hand''. I remembered few years ago, Richard had told me he owned a gun, I had thought it a joke, thought he was merely looking to impress me. There was an anger in his stare, a pain in his silence, and traces of hurt in the way he held the gun.

''You get down like this?'' he roared, tears building up in his eyes, his muscles tightening.

''Richard I beg you, put the gun down'', I managed, choking back a sob.

''We can talk about this, I promise''.

He turned around, I could tell he was wiping the tears out of his eyes, contemplating his next move. It was definitely going to end badly, especially for Cyril, yet a part of me still craved his touch, his empty whispers and his body naked against mine. He gave me something Richard didn't, he made me feel alive and limitless, his excuse was that I was beautiful, his excuse was that he loved me. And I loved him too.

He walked to the living room, tossed the gun on the table and sank into the sofa. He picked up leftovers of the Marijuana and proceeded to roll it.

''Ziggy, since when do you smoke''? He blurted. I was going to deny it, but he fished out a half smoked blunt from the sofa, lipstick marks all over it.

''I, I... I was merely tasting it, I got carried away'', I stammered, walking towards him, trembling. Cyril was awful quiet, and I was worried. I signaled for him to get his things and head out, I figured I could deal with Richard, and Cyril being around wouldn't help.

He reached for the gun the second Cyril moved, pointing it at him, threatening to blow his head all over the white tiles. I felt weak, I thought about jumping in front of the gun to save Cyril, but such things never end well in movies, and this was real life.

''Grab your stuffs and get out'' he roared, pointing the gun at me.

''I was gonna be better, I was gonna do better, for you Zig''.

''I was gonna do right by you'' he added, he let the tears run loose. I noticed the scattered bouquet of Red Carnations on the floor, they were my favorite flowers, I looked at Cyril, when did he bring these, I thought to myself.

''Get your stuffs and get out'' he continued.

I reluctantly walked to the room, terrified of leaving Cyril alone with him, terrified that I felt no remorse, no guilt and no regrets. I thought about how different things would be afterwards, even though it ended on a bad note, I was free of Richard, I could focus on my new obsession, Cyril West. I grabbed a few of my things, slipped on fresh panties and exited the room.

Cyril was nowhere in sight, and it made my heart skip. ''Where is he?'' I asked Richard, taking a few steps back, why did I ask him that, what if he got violent and hurt me. I thought to myself.

''Fuck you Ziggy''. He snapped.

''Get out, and you can keep this'', he threw a tiny brown box in my face, and as it hit the ground, it opened and a gold ring rolled out. I felt tears build up in my eyes.