Days Gone By

The Start of the New World

6 Weeks Earlier

"What's the difference between men and women?"

"Is this a joke?"

"No, serious."

"I mean, other than the fact that women have vaginas and men ha-"

"Not like that" I laughed as Rick cut me off. I could see clearly, a sexist comment on the way, most likely made by Shane.

"Well, I never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. They're born thinking in a switch, it only goes one way. On." Shane started.

"Hey, that ain't all women though is it?" I questioned from the back seat of the police car, hitting him on the shoulder.

"Bare with me, every woman, I ever let have a key... I swear to God. Come home, house all lit up, and my job, apparently because... because my chromosomes happen to be different cause I then gotta walk through that house, turn off every single light this chick left on."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, baby. Alright, Reverend Shane's preaching to you now."

Rolling my eyes, I huffed back in my seat while Rick just smiled.

"The same chick, mind ya. She'll bitch about global warming. That's when Reverend Shane wants to quote from the Guy Gospel and say 'Um, darling? maybe you, and every other pair of boobs on this planet just figured out that the light switch see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn't have so much global warming.'"

"If you actually said that, I'm pretty sure you'd have a permanent hand mark etched into your cheek." I said, boredly.

Rick let out a short laugh, glancing back at me. "She has a point, you actually say that?"

"Yeah. Anyway, uh... Polite version... Still man, that... that earns me this. This look and loathing you would not believe. And that's when the exorcist voice pops out. "You sound just like my damn father. Always, always yelling about the power bill, telling me to turn off the damn lights."

"What do you say to that?"

"You know what I wanna say? I wanna say, 'Bitch, you mean to tell me you've been hearing this your entire life and you are still too damn stupid to learn how to turn off a switch?' You know... I don't actually say that, though."

"Pussy."

"That would be bad, though" Rick said in a matter of fact tone. I made a hum of agreement.

"Hey Rick, how's you and Lori doing?" I remembered him mentioning an argument they had to me and Shane a few shifts back. I didn't really care too much about their relationship, I was no where near considered close to Lori, but I know how their arguments can affect Rick.

"She's good. She's good at turning off lights. Really good. I don't know why I sometimes forget."

"Don't think that's what she meant."

"We didn't have a great night."

"Look, man, I may have a... fail to amuse with my sermon, but I did try. The least you could do is speak."

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from speaking my mind. I knew what she was like. After the continuous uninvited visits I made, I had clocked on to how selfish she could be. Especially around Rick. She loved the sound of her own voice, that's for sure.

"That's what she always says: 'Speak', 'Speak'. You'd think I was the most closed mouth son of a bitch you'd ever hear her telling.

"Do you express your thoughts? Do you share your feelings and that kind of stuff?"