T.E.E.N (TYLER, EVANS, ERIC & NATHAN)

Chapter 7: Matt

Mr. Thompson dragged on about time and space most of the class not paying attention to what he was even saying, myself included. To be here some place I didn't want to be made me so angry, each minuet spent here listening about his nonsensical rant that wouldn't help me find Lori or her friends  made me so fucking pissed.

Why the hell did i have to be stuck here instead of being out there helping to look for them?

A hand rested gently on my clenched fist and I instantly knew who it was. Breaking my change of thoughts I boringly looked to my left to see Helen smiling softly at me. Her green eyes looked at me worriedly. For the past three and a half months life seemed to just be flying past in a hurry and our relationship was on the brink of being ship wrecked if not already thrown against the rough seas of twisted unknown emotions. We hardly spent time together anymore, even I knew that, although she never complained to me about it I knew she felt it too. My neglect of her. but honestly I couldn't help it, the only time we ever saw each other was at school or at press conferences. But I just feel that if I ever were to let my guard down for just a coupe minuets it would be demise for the girls and I couldn't live with myself if that were to happen. 

I gave her an small smile back and she rubbed her polished nails against my skin that sent an unnerving feeling throughout my body that shocked me the most.

What the fuck was happening to me? I know I haven't been spending enough time with her but just having her touch me felt...wrong. 

She mouthed the  words 'I Love You' before turning around in her seat to pay attention to Mr. Thompson.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding, titling my head back. Honestly I didn't know if I could have repeated what she told me.

And that's what scared me the most. I didn't have the same love for her that I did three and a half months prior to their kidnapping...we've been together since grade school, well officially  since 7th grade and she's been there for me even now during our sophomore year, no complaints whatsoever. So why was I so cold and distant towards her when she did nothing to deserve it?

I debated this for hours even when the bell sounded signaling our lunch and Helen club to my arm talking about random things  trying to get me to respond react to anything but I just couldn't.

This just felt wrong.

We sat on the highest bleachers over looking the tracks as the senior team jogged coach Blake at their heels shouting harsh comments, Helen sat quietly eating her home made salad, her short auburn  loose curls bellowed in the harsh wind, whipping across her small heart face speckled with freckles as her dainty fingers tirelessly swept them back behind her ear, while

I watched and smiled. This is what made me fall for her in the first place, along with her glasses which she swapped for contacts since the year started.

'Hey , Elie...'' I began, my mouth suddenly dry

She turned with a small shy smile playing on her lips. Gosh she was plain-fully elegant beautiful.

'Hmm..?'

' Thank you. For everything' we thebwords that flowed from my mouth

Not my true intentions, of us taking a break from each other.

She only smiled. Leaning in she kissed my cheeks snuggling up closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her.

Then I knew I couldn't. She was the glue that held me together...although I might not admit it to her but she's my lifeline.

Hold on Lori, I'm gonna find you.