A madman's diary

The wonders of the human brain

January 10th

Today I met a really nice looking lady. I said to her: My goodness you surely have a nice and curvy figure. Let me have a piece of you darling. You must be as sweet as honey. In that moment I immediately grabbed her by her breasts. Let me tell you they were as soft as marshmallows. Sadly she did not accept my most gracious offer, slapped me in the face, kicked me in the nuts and ran away. What a conservative view of her! What has become of the word with this politically correct and safe space bullshit?

January 13rd

Still hurts like a motherfucker. That bitch surely had some force in her. No matter. I put some ice on it. Feels a little better but I can't jerk off for a while. My poor little cock is now as limp as it has never been. Good thing the fingering is still an option.

January 20th

Fit as a fiddle. Today I visited a whore who was quite the size where a woman should be. I fucked her in every possible hole you can imagine. I was there for an hour and a half, made her cum at least four times while I was working on her. There is nothing better to finish the day than a good fucking am I right?

January 30th

This new kinky club down the 8th avenue looks promising. I already scored 3 during one night. Too bad I ran out of condoms and coke otherwise I would have had at least double amount of pussy and asshole. When it comes to sex I am not picky. Who comes with an offer I usually accept it. The thicker the better. More to grab onto.

February 4th

Had to chat with my dealer today. He ran out of the usual stuff and I have to wait now a whole damn week. He is a good fellow but he is too sentimental and a bit paranoid but who isn't in this kind of job? I mean I would shit my pants sitting on that amount of drugs and I have to show restraint. I respect him and his iron will. Funny thing is that he might live as a hoodlum but he claims that he had even bankers as buyers. What a lucky bastard.

February 6th

That mengy dog that the neighbor has will be loud no longer. I made sure that the mongrel suffers just as much as I suffered because of him. Good thing I had some sedatives with me. One little dose into the chicken I gave him and fell to the ground almost instantly. Getting it out was tricky but in the end I managed. When it woke up in my kitchen I already tied him up nicely. Every leg in every corner of the table. That poor soul tried to wiggle and bark but without any luck. I had my straight razor ready for this very,very special event. I wanted to save the best for last. First I shaved Benny (that was the name of the dog) thoroughly, then I cut off his penis. Next I took a hatchet and chopped off every single paw he had. Finally I took the instrument and I just slammed it inside his body. I kept doing it for a solid 20 minutes. When I was done I went to the lake with the body and buried it there. To give it proper respect I urinated on the grave. I mean my flowers died out because of him so it was fair giving it back no? I kept one of his teeth as a memento. The first souvenir in the collection.

February 11th

Posters everywhere. They even offered a reward. Don't be sad. You will enjoy his company when you go for a swim. My plan is to make a necklace and I know just what I want as the next trophy. There is a dog pond just at the edge of town. I think the time has come for a new companion.

February 13th

A nice little female golden retriver. Just imagine those eyes! They look like little brown knobs that endlessly seek affection and attention towards their master. Her fur is like the finest silk you can get and condition she was in when I first saw her oh dear God! She was weeping! It truly touched my heart and I knew instantly what I had to do. When we got home I let her run around the house a bit and get familiar with the scenery. I called her Jenny after my ex-girlfriend. She was so grateful and full of joy. Getting out of that cell into a loving and caring arms of somebody must have been her dream. I carassed her head and when she turned around to sit on my lap I did not hesitate. I snapped her neck and boy was it loud! No sound came out of her. I took my scissors and cut one of her ears off and put it in a little tin box. I dumped the body into the trashcan. Good thing they never check them otherwise my father would have been arrested long ago.

February 21st

These youngsters are a pain I tell you. They do not show respect to the elderly. I was at the shop doing my usual business there. Buying food and some booze for the weekend you know when one of them suddenly cuts me off and goes to the cashier. That cretin did not even apologise or anything. After I finished my shopping and was about to forget the whole incident he yells after me: Alcoholic jerk you should have died already! I was so shocked that I was stunned for a solid 5 seconds but then he was foolish enough to walk closer to me. Then I grabbed him by the throat,lifted him up and said to him: Boyo get the fuck out of my way or I teach you some manners. Being an ex-military member sure has its benefits. He ran away so fast that he disappeared from my view in a split second.

February 28th

Finally I got my appointment at the dentist. He claims that my teeth are in a bad shape. Of course not! They might be a bit yellow but that is relatively good knowing the fact that I haven't brushed them for a year and a half and he dares to talk shit about them!? He can go to hell for all I care.

March 3rd

Did I mention how much I despise the modern mentality? No human should be bound in chains! It is a free country and most improtantly a free world if I am correct but guess what? NO! You always have to watch your mind. No nasty thoughts, no perversions etc. No such things are allowed. Today at work I called one of my colleagues Asian,but he got angry and yelled that he is Thai. I explained him that Thailand is basically the part of Asia so technically I am right however my argument seemed unworthy to his attention. I told him to go back to the rice fields in Pattaya where he can go and fuck little children as much as he desires. Somehow he had nothing to say after this.

March 4th

Got fired from work. I go into the buliding and the first thing I see is the whole board of directors and that schmegma of that Asian. He ratted and the whole directorate seemed to take his side. Of course they would. That fuckface's tongue has been up their asses since forever and if anyone dares hurting their precious little worker then just you wait boyo! They gave me 20 minutes to pack my things and leave at once I completed this task. Before I left I spit into the face of my boss and pissed on the front door while the others were watching. Time to grab some beer and get drunk. Maybe I give a call to Jessica. Her bouncing tits always cheer me up.

March 5th

What a night! Jess never disappoints. She even let me put a banana in her asshole while she was riding me. Honestly, pussy tastes best while you are drunk. It has a beer flavor and it is just so delicious I wonder why they did not add this recipe into cookbooks.  Got to find myself a new place to work. 

March 10th

No success. These peasants keep rejecting me. They do not see the potential I have. I can be very useful but they didn't even let me talk about my previous experiences. Rudely interrupted my speech and explained to me that I might not be the suitable candidate for this position. Kiss my ass you fucking suit-wearing bigot! I bet you get turned on by your daughter you filthy animal. Time to pay Jasper a visit. For his sake he better have something good for me. I hunger for opium.

March 15th

The buzz was intense. I was so relaxed like never before. That man knows what his customers want. I was just sitting in front of the TV and I just kept staring. It just felt...right. I even tried the cigarette. At first it tasted like popcorn and I was like you got to be kidding me. Did Americans made this crap? Funny how the USA is the birthplace of everything that is trash. They have "wrestling" while the Far-East has karate and tai-chi. USA's quisine is basically junk food. They have no original dishes what so ever unlike the French. It is the rotten heart of the Earth that should be removed from the body. Hmmm. This gave me an idea.