Ugh 😣

🥺

So like I realized that there is no reason to life. Like I know that I'm too pussy to kill myself. And my parents will have trouble paying for my funeral. So my only thing is to fix whatever the hell is wrong with me. I'm seriously upset because I'm bored? WHAT KIND OF THING IS THAT TO HAVE A BREAKDOWN ABOUT? Okay so I'm sad and I have nobody to talk to and keeping this between u and me, I keep trying to talk to my best friend about it but they don't really know how to fix it. Hell I can't fix it and the person can't fix it . I need to move on with my life yknow maybe just like get a time machine and blast my ass to the future . It would be so much easier BUT I CANT I have to live this horrible horrible life. At least I'm not homeless right? I guess. I'm still really sad and empty Inside and there is annoying ass people at my school that think I'm dating somebody that I'm not like LEAVE ME ALONE AND MIND YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS DAMN IT . I don't wanna be in a relationship it's too stressful . I don't even wanna be in friendships at this point. Like it's all gonna just end and go away one day regardless so why waste time building "good relationships" it's not like your ever gonna be truely happy. The only thing that can make me happy is food. See I'm starting to think I have an eating problem too and that's stressing me out. Like all the time no matter what I'm doing I wanna go to an all u can eat buffet and stuff myself, then the next day stuff myself again. I'm not Healthy physically or mentally and I don't have any idea how to fix it BECAUSE MY LIFE IS FALLING APART PEICE BY FUCKING PEICE because of this one person 😪😭😢. At this point I am crying but that's fine. I have to stop this though. I can't live my life suffering like this. And I know that if I don't end it now then imma keep wanting to eat and get more unhealthy and get more sick in the head. But I can't stop because I'm addicted 😩😫 at this point.. im just addicted.