7 rings

Chapter 8

Mark Benson, Evelyn Mallory... Why do I always lose people I care for, why do I always run away? Why do I make sure we're far away from each other before I cry? Why do I do this to myself?

Images flashed before her eyes, filling them with tears.

"-You said you would protect us! You lied to us!

- Dominica... You can't change it now. You just can't.- tears were rolling down Evelyn's cheeks, as we were standing on the bridge. If I knew, would I do it?

- You lied! You said you wouldn't let this happen! - my face wasn't looking any happier.

- Dominica... Let's go. We can't change it now... She's gone. You can't bring her back.

- How did you let it happen?- I was screaming, my voice breaking the silence of the night, in pain.

- That's what happens when you live a life like ours...

- Why can't we live differently, then? Why can't we live like all of the others? Why can't we just be a happy family?- when I saw the train approaching, almost passing under us, I knew what I would do. I didn't even think.

- Dominica...

- I hate you!-and I jumped. I fell on the train, and it kept going, just like if my sister hadn't just died. Just like my life wasn't over. Just like nothing had changed. "

Why did I only think about how you were gone from my life now when you disappeared in the distance? I looked at my twin sister's blood and realized it. Nothing would ever be the same. My tiny six-year-old voice perforated the night, I don't know if someone heard my screams, I don't even know if I was really screaming or if it was all in my head. I don't remember. Mark... It was the same the night you were gone, except for how, over the years, I learned to retain myself. Daniela Mallory... You're the empty space in me, the one I will never be able to fill. Evelyn, Mark... You were those I tried to fill this space with, realized it didn't work and ran away from you, forgetting you would leave just a bigger empty space inside me. I can't even find myself there. Is there any "me" anyway, after all of this? Who am I? I don't know. I have always identified myself by the people around me. I'm the leader of a very successful criminal group. But what does that make me without the group? Nothing. Mark Benson. I need to find you again.

I need to get out of this town.

I need to just move a few steps and I will be there.

And I will just stand there and look.

Dominica and Daniela. I lost you both in one night. The night when everything went wrong. Why couldn't we just be a happy family? Your question still haunts me to this day. I don't know why. I can't know why. Do you know? I need to just move a few steps and I will be there. Where I wanted to be for years now. Near you. I can't. Something is very wrong.

Mark. I lost you because I wanted to. I lost you because I asked you to go away.  The truth... Why do you want to know it so hard? What is retaining you from knowing it, when it is just in front of you? I only need to come down and I will be there. Where I want to be right now. Near you. I want to. But my legs... They don't. I can't walk until down there. I physically can't. I don't know why, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just know one thing. Something is very, very wrong.

I just need to get out of here. This is suffocating me. This will eventually kill me. I can't. This is wrong. I can't stay, I must go. Somewhere, anywhere, as far away as possible, somewhere nothing will remind me of you. Somewhere I can feel alright and understand the wrong thing is just within me, I have control over it. Out of here... Now.

This is just right, isn't it? Beautiful.

Mark slowly put the hand in his pocket. His card was there. His keys were there. His phone was there. He didn't think about it for more than half a second. He quickly turned around and started to run. He knew where the train station was, so he knew where to go now.

Dominica's feet finally came to life, and, seeing Mark go, she, automatically, lifting her long dress to that she wouldn't fall off the fire ladders, and ran down, to the street, after Mark, pushing people around, not even turning slightly when she heard someone yell something. She knew what he was doing. She knew she had to stop him.

Evelyn Mallory realized what was happening immediately. The window of her office wasn't enough already. Quickly putting her coat on, she ran out, down the stairs, on the street. The feeling of impotence and emptiness quickly faded aways, just as if the wind hitting her face had washed it off.

Philomena Kottmeyer closed the door of her car and turned it on. No one of the three was realizing someone else was running after them. All of them were chasing their own happiness, not realizing they were also being chased.

Beautiful.

The station... I have to leave, I will leave. If I stay, something, I don't know what, but something will happen. Something that should've never even started is going on. I have to leave this behind. Now.

Something is very wrong. But something, that same exact thing is very right, just the way it should be.

Finally. I'm done sitting and waiting, occasionally realizing what has been going on just in front of me.

I will find what I' looking for. I will break free.

All these years, all these mistakes... At least one will be concerted now.

Everything was there the whole time, maybe I wasn't. I should've been. Now, it will change. I don't know what is happening or what I'm doing, but this feels just about right.

The streets full of people, or maybe how lost each one of them was in their own thoughts, impeded each one of them to understand that they were already together, the mistakes were on the way of being mended, they weren't just under the same sky anymore. All of this was a whole.

Just like planned.

Mark was thinking about how, even when running away with only the absolute essentials, no clothes and not even a warning to anyone, this was the right choice.

Dominica was just running, not knowing why she waned that so bad, why this was the right choice. It just was.

Evelyn just knew it was the right choice. She just knew.

Well... This will be fun.