Not What We Expected

Chapter Six~Puberty Sucks

Waking up the next morning my stomach is growling loudly, I look to my alarm clock to see I still have another hour until I actually need to wake up but Im too hungry to go back to bed. I slip out of bed and feel a bit strange, I look down to my bed to see a small puddle of fresh blood. Oh my atlantic you have to be freaking kidding me right now! I rip my sheets off my bed and set them on my carpet and hop into the shower quickly, the unnoticable cramps set in and I groan, puberty sucks, guys just get like a year of it wheras girls get it just about their entire lives.

I finish showering but I dont want to get out, I run to my bathroom and see I have no tampons or pads, crab cakes! "Mom!" I call for her annoyed, Im still dripping wet and completly naked, this is my third period ever, it sucks I dont know how twelve year olds can do this? My mom comes running over to me and when she sees me she sighs.

"I thought you were stuck or something! Whats wrong?"

"Can I have a few tampons for today? Im out." I ask her and she smiles, she chuckles lightly before nodding, she wears her silky night gown and leaves to go get me my crap. I groan rubbing my lower stomach, my mom said that the period cramps are like small contractions, but she doesnt know since my 'brother' isnt even hers, its my 'dads' from his previous marriage. I wonder if she will have a baby of her own?

She comes back in and hands me what I need, I do my stuff while she sits on my tub waiting patiently, I dont need a crowd to do this. "Hey mom? Im sorry about yesterday, your still my mom I love you, but will you ever have a baby of your own?" I ask her standing up, I drape a towel around me and head to my counter and start doing my make up, suddenly I am not so hungry any more.

"Never, your all I need." She says looking up to me through my mirror, I smile at her finishing my eye liner.

"What if I told you I wanted you to?" I asked her seriously, she looks to me almost completly shocked, her jaw strung open and I just snicker. 

"Ive never had a baby before, I dont think Im capable to have one even?" 

"Your so young, now that you told me Im adopted I can fit the peices together, your thirty one, you still can have children, its not like your fifty and your thinking about having your first!"

"I dont think so, Im not even dating, I cant have a baby with asextual reproduction!" Both of us chuckle at each other, I can figure something out some way.

"What about a sperm donor?" I ask her my hair dripping, I braid it lazilly but it ends up beautiful, wow this is great.

"No, why are you even talking about this?" She asks me slightly agitated, what has her uterus in a twist?

"I just thought you should have one of your own."

"Scarlette you are my own!" She barks a bit harshly, I blink a few times before I feel my eyes well up, why am I about to cry gosh puberty sucks. "Im sorry why are you crying about this? Its my choice hunny, I dont know how to take care of a baby that well, your father did most of it."

"I dont know why I am crying either, could you start my sheets in the wash please? I need to get ready." I clear my throat and suck the tears back up and continue my make up, I watch her out of my corner vision, she hesitates slightly before leaving the room. Why am I crying over the fact that my mother doesnt want a baby? This is just obsurd, I dont know, Im still unfamiliar with this whole puberty thing, along with why I have boobs? Why do I if I just hit puberty three months ago? I finish my make up and I start getting ready, my phone starts going off for my morning alarm, I could have been sleeping all that time. 

I pull on some yoga pants and a tight long sleeve shirt that reveals only a tad bit of cleavage. I think back to my moment on the toilet, she had to have seen my scars. Crab cakes, Im skrewed. I grab my phone and walk down stairs and into the kitchen to see her making breakfast, shes quiet and she isnt saying anything at all. "Mom?" I ask her, she turns around with a tear in her eye making me quickly rush into her arms. 

"Why didnt you tell me? Why didnt you say something about it?" She sobs, come to think of it, all the scars on my body, from when my 'dad' and 'brother' beat me.

"I didnt want to scare you." I mutter into her shoulder, she starts to sob now uncontrollably and I dont know what to do.

"About the scars? All over your body Scarlette? All of them? Why would you cut?" She grabs my shirt and pulls it off of me and I cant stop her, nor will I try to. She stars at my body in horror, especially from the big one from my breast to my hip. "Why would you do this?"

"I didnt do these ones. Dad did, when you worked he would come home dunk and hurt me. I only did my arms." 

"Those were recent! How did I not know about this?" 

"Mom there are alot of things you dont know."

"Then tell me please! I am your mother you can tell me anything!" She looks so desperate, its breaking my heart seeing her so torn about this.

"Mom its in the past about these, all he would do is come home, beat me, break things and cut me. He would sexually abuse me but he would go as far as to rape me, or at least you know..." I am still pretty innocent so I dont know what to call it, he would get me naked and groap my breasts and kiss them but he wouldnt stick his huhuh in my huhhuh. 

"Why didnt you tell me sooner? I want you to trust me!" 

"Its not that simple, after you kept the secret about me being adopted its hard to trust you."

"I did it because she asked me to."

"Then take me to her, I want to talk to her, get to know why she left me! Why my birth mother gave me away! Im so confused! Of course I love you but I want to know why!" I rip my shirt from her hands and pull it on quickly, I grab my phone and some extra tampons and leave the house and start walking away, somewhere. I pull out my phone and call Jazzi. "Could you come pick me up a bit early please?" I hear her shift, I think she was sleeping?

"Yeah...Ill be on my way. Be there in five." She hangs up groggily and I park my butt right on a bench, I put my head in hands and just curse myself, curse every person that had to do with harming me in anyway. Of course its my fault for harming myself, but I cant feel it, I cant feel the physical pain, no matter what I do the emotional pain is too much. 

"Scarlette!" I turn my head to see Reese and his buddies walking over to me, I groan, stand up and start walking quickly away. I do not want to deal with him one bit, he is too desperate and is not respectful. "Scarlette!" He calls again and this time he grabs my shoulder, I whip around and punch him in the nose making him stumble back gripping his nose.

"Leave me alone you desperate ass!" I scream to him, all my pain and emotion rolling off my tongue and I dont know how to stop it, this is another side of me I have never seen before and its scary.

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