afterglow. | kth

09 // i love her

taehyung's pov

i regretted it the second it left my mouth. the look of pain that shot through y/n's face when hurt me more than anything.

of course i loved you. how could i not?

y/n breathing gets noticeably more rapid, my mind wanders back to one of our late night texts. she'd told me that she gets panic attacks sometimes.

"y/n? are you okay?" i ask furrowing my eyebrows in worry. all i wanted to do at he moment was to wrap her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay but i held back.

she probably hates me now though i wouldn't blame her. after all, who could ever love me? when i get scared i run and i ran from y/n. did everything i could to try and forget her but here we are now, it didn't work and i've hurt her.

again.

y/n sprints out of the elevator the second the heavy metal doors open. she makes a sharp turn and i want to follow her, but my feet stand still in the lobby. a couple minutes later, i decide that i should make things right. i'll go hug her, and then tell her i love her. right as i spin around, a man pushes past me and crashes into my shoulder, he seems to be in a hurry try as he apologizes quickly before speeding off again.

he exits the same door i saw y/n scurry through. oh shit, i know y/n won't want a stranger seeing her in the state that she's in. i run outside, expecting to see a startled y/n but instead what i see stops me in my tracks. the man is holding y/n in a tight embrace.

oh god just watching tears me apart but i can't stop looking. my feet won't move, god damn it MOVE TAEHYUNG.

i drag my heavy feet back into the building and the next thing i know i'm at a bar. good going taehyung, always drowning your sorrows in alcohol and nicotine. how pathetic and low can you get?

i wave down a bartender and order a couple shots of strong tequila. i need to forget her, i need to numb this pain.

i don't want it to end like it did before. not again.

- a couple of years ago -

"please taehyung, you're fucking trash," she says, throwing the crumpled up paper with the designs i had worked so hard on. "no one will like these designs."

"b-but you said you supported me, we've been together for three years now and you've always supported me, what happened?" i stammer, picking up my designs.

she laughs and traces her perfectly manicured finger down my cheek before landing on my chin and tilting it up, "oh poor little taehyung, did you really think i loved you? i just needed money and you had lots of it."

my heart plummets to my stomach. what happened to the beautiful, kind girl i loved so much? this entire time, she was just using me.

my eyes burn and i back out of her grasp, "you're fucking disgusting."

"no one's ever going to love you taehyung, and no one will like those designs either so stop trying," she sneers, taking her vibrant red luggage. "my husband is here so if you don't mind i'm just going to go now. remember, you're just a lowlife piece of scum, you'll never make it big."

she gives me a cheeky smile, waves her fingers and then slams the door on me. and that's when i break.