autumn leaves 。yoonkook

50.

。October 11th 。

it was 4 in the morning.

the moon was high up in the sky, it's soft blue glow peaking through the windows in between the cracks of the blinds. through the slightly opened window, the only thing that could be heard was the cool breeze, and the occasional rustling of leaves.

leaves... autumn leaves. the autumn leaves with their hues of orange, golden yellow, and rich browns, were beautiful, yoongi thought. out of everything in his bland, overly-quaint world, the only thing with such resplendence and vibrant colors was the autumn leaves.

autumn leaves...

"yes, that's what you want to believe," yoongi persuaded himself. yoongi knew it had been true; he had only ever found the season of autumn and colors it brought with it astonishing and worthy of his attention. everything else, he could've cared less about.

but that wasn't the truth anymore.

as yoongi's mind began to wander, his concern for his own mental state grew. as if trying to block out unwanted noises, he took both ends of the pillow beneath his head, and brought it to his ears. he closed his eyes, not to sleep, but to avoid the inevitable. his faced twisted in a cringing expression, even though the inevitable hadn't arrived yet. he closed his eyes even harder, he held the pillow around his ears even tighter.

but it was no use.

despite doing everything he could've done, he was defeated by his own mind. suddenly, he was more awake than ever, frightened by the thoughts now circling around in his head.

when yoongi closed his eyes, the autumn leaves weren't the only things he saw.

there in his thoughts was the boy from after school, perhaps more present than any other thought running through yoongi's head in that moment. it was strange, yoongi thought, how easily one person could intrude into his usual train of thought.

he was confused about many things, but what bothered him the most was the question of why he hadn't seen the boy before.

yoongi had only glanced at the boy, but that was all he needed to do to see that the boy was different from most people. his features were like those out of a painting, eye catching and intricately placed. the aura and atmosphere he brought with him could attract the entire school, without him having to try.

and embarrassingly enough, yoongi could already feel himself falling into a hole he's never fallen into before.

"what's happening to me?" he whispered, and nothing but silence answered.

。 。 。

"jungkook, i'm dying!" jungkook jumped at the sound of a familiar voice complaining behind him, and slammed his locker shut a little to aggressively.

"namjoon," he said tightly, turning around, "let me guess, your supposed charm was proven unsuccessful, and once again, a girl rejected you." he punched namjoon in the arm playfully.

"you know me too well," namjoon mumbled, looking down at the floor. for jungkook, such a conversation became a weekly routine. namjoon never wanted to admit that the girls at their school weren't interested, and jungkook always had to hit him with the brutal truth. "you're so lucky to be a chic magnet..."

jungkook couldn't help but giggle at namjoon's jealous remark. in fact, in that very moment, he didn't even have to look around to know that many eyes were on him. in his peripheral vision, he could see the eyes of girls, peeking out from clusters of cliques scattered throughout the hallway, their gaze resembling that of a predator stalking its prey. jungkook shuddered at the thought.

"lucky, my ass," jungkook snickered to himself, and continued making his way to the cafeteria. "all of their chances are slim, anyway, i'm already interested in someone." he could feel his face scrunch into an expression of regret after the shitty excuse had already been said.

"what was that i heard?" namjoon said in a sing song voice, taunting jungkook, "the one and only, pretty boy jungkook is interested in someone?"

for a moment, jungkook couldn't answer; he didn't understand why he blurted it out in the first place. he didn't think he was interested in anyone. he knew that he wasn't particularly interested in girls, but that wouldn't help his current situation.

he set his gaze everywhere but namjoon's expectant eyes, hoping to convince himself that what he said was all a lie.

nonetheless, why he became so worried about the matter in the first place confused him. but what unsettled him the most was the growing blush he could feel on his cheeks.

"come on, jungkook," namjoon sighed, poking jungkook in the head as he walked, "do i need to pinky promise you that i'll keep my mouth shut?"

jungkook gathered up the will power to turn around and face namjoon, stopping in the entrance of the cafeteria, and forcing a confident smile onto his face. "you've been bamboozled, namjoon, i like no one!"

"jungkook, what the fuck..."

jungkook's smile turned genuine at namjoon's reaction. "did i stutter?"

"so what you're telling me is that i just spent two minutes of my time having an existential crisis figuring out who you might like?"

"mhm!" jungkook hummed as he turned around and skipped over to his usual lunch table by the window. namjoon parted ways, going to sit with another group of friends.

although he had left the hallway and its vast amount of crowds, he still felt the burning sensation of people's eyes on the back of his neck.

jungkook began to realize a while ago that popularity, despite its appeal that everyone longs for, has its side affects. one of them was there was always people watching.

as he sat down, knowing that he wouldn't be alone for long, jungkook tried to regather his thoughts. why had he said he liked someone? why didn't he just agree with namjoon, that he was lucky?

did he like someone?

"no, that's ridiculous," jungkook whispered to himself, leaning his head against the cool, fogged-up window. "i'm overthinking, i'm sleep deprived, maybe i'm loosing my mind..."

he continued whispering solutions under his breath, absentmindedly drawing little swirls and doodles of hearts on the fogged-up window with his fingertips. for a moment, he felt fine again.

but as he drew another heart onto the window, he noticed something.

jungkook could feel his heart stop.

any solution he was whispering to himself was caught in his throat.

outside the window, through the small heart he drew, there was a boy laying on a bench, listening to music, looking fondly at the first leaves of autumn.

it was his crush from junior high.

min yoongi.

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