Home Sweet Home

Different

"Where have you been?" I asked when I heard our front door close quietly. For the past two weeks, Masa disappeared without a word or a call and it would make me worry to death. I tried reaching him through his cellphone several times, and even went to his school to look for him, but he never picked up and he wasn't at his school. So for nights, I stayed up waiting for him to come home, but he didn't come home until the end of the second week.

And there we were: I was worried sick sitting in the kitchen, while Masa probably stood shock at the front door.

"Where have you been?" I asked once again when Masa didn't reply. "I was worried as hell, you know?"

"I've been... out."

I felt my eyebrows knit together. "That's all? Where's "out?" "

"I—"

"You've been cheating on me, is that what's going on?" Although I wasn't one to jump to conclusions and as much as a I trusted Masa, I couldn't help but think of the possibility. For almost a month, he's ignored me, pushed me away and now he disappeared without a word. Is this it? Is it over for us?

""Kazu, it's not like that..."

I snapped and turned to face him as he approached me from behind. "Then what is it?"

"I..." He looked down and refused to meet my eyes. I knew when he couldn't look me in the eyes and he was playing with his fingers that he was keeping a secret from me. Back then at the Manor, Masa and I promised that we would never keep secrets from each other. I told him about everything, about my inner thoughts, and all of my feelings as well as he told me his. But it hurt, when I realized that Masa was keeping a secret from me for a long time now.

"I can't tell you yet, Kazu..."

"It's OK, just tell me," I insisted. Whatever it was, I wanted to know.

"Kazu..." He pulled the beanie off his head and I gasped out loud.

Instead of his thick brown-orange hair on his scalp, there was nothing there; nothing but his recently shaved head. The part that I most loved about his hair was how I could run my fingers through it, and how his hair always smelt of strawberry and peaches after he showered.

I approached him slowly, but he stepped back. I stopped and felt my heart constrict painfully inside my chest.

"I..." All of a sudden Masa's eyes widened and he fell on the floor. He was coughing wildly, just like the time when we were eighteen, young and carefree. But now, it was different. Masa and I were in our twenties and we weren't those carefree kids anymore. We had to take care of ourselves and Jun, pay for bills, go to college and hopefully find a great career afterwards. I hadn't realized it until I saw Masa cringe painfully, cough wildly and gasp for air.

Was this the secret he was keeping from me?