Million Words BWS

01

Sometimes I wish I was happy. Someone who is constantly smiling. Someone who believes everything someone tells her like "your beautiful" "you're so pretty" You know meaningful things that mean a lot to people. I hate when someone calls me that, anything really, I rather people just ignore my existence.

I have friends, well a friend. Friends aren't really something I keep a lot of due to my lack of social skills. My only friend is Kayla. She is the only one who has stuck with me through everything.

So many things have changed since I left high school. So many people have left and left me heartbroken at that. You may know him. Bradley Simpson. Someone who was my celebrity crush and someone who isn't what he seems. I want to sort things out with him but I'm scared. Other than breaking my heart many times, he also helped me through a lot.

*****

You should always be happy. Never let anyone put you down.

I did.

I takes one to know one I guess.

Me and Kayla were planning to go out today however I am still drunk from the night before due to my obsessive drinking problem from my past. That makes me sound like an alcoholic. I'm not, it's just when I get upset I tend to drink my problems away because it helps me forget my problems and numbs the pain slightly.

I looked in the mirror, I looked like a train wreck. My hair was as high as a Victorian wig, all bushy and tangled. My makeup was smudged all over my face and pillow, fair to say this is the most attractive I have looked in a long time. Note the sarcasm.

Since I was drinking it was around 3:00pm so I wasted most of the day. My plan for the day is to do the exact same as yesterday but Kayla is coming so that is a no go.

I went to my kitchen and looked through the cupboards to find something to eat.

There was nothing at all, not even a peanut. I saw a multi-coloured thing near my front door, my eyes began to adjust to the item and focused on what I wanted to look at. Turns out it was the food wrappers from the food I ate yesterday when I was out my face.

I let out a large sigh that alerted someone where I was.

Since I never heard the door open, I grabbed the first thing that was near me, which was a frying pan filled with grease (gross, I know). I slowly got closer to my kitchen door and saw a silhouette on the wall of the mysterious stranger.

As they got near my door, I slowly lifted my frying pan to get ready to hit them across the head and phone the police. The anticipation killed me even though I am still drunk from yesterday.

"AMY?!" The voice called out. It was Kayla.

"Foorr, godnessss snake K" I slurred whilst leaning against the shut kitchen door.

"AMY? Are you drunk again?" She asked me concerned.

"Pfft, no" I said punch the wall for the laughs. It was one of those things that was funny at the time until you were left with a bruise.

She opened the door which resulted me on the floor with my Victorian hairstyle spread out on the floor.

She helped me up, "You need to stop this Amy, your killing yourself slowly. You need to get over him ok?" She was talking about Brad.

He was my best friend until he pretty much turned on me causing me to lose my beans and falling out with him because he hurt me pretty bad. An interviewer asked him about how his love life was and they brought up me, which was weird but expected because sometimes we acted like a couple. He denied it like always did because it was true, we aren't a couple however, I wanted to. I loved him. This is why it's such a big deal for me.

"It's worth it K. I need him" It never made sense but I said it anyways because I am stupid like that.

"No more alcohol" she told me as she began putting my vodka and tequila down the drain.

"NOOO, not myyy tequilaaaaa, she's nice!" Again, slurring everything.

"We are going out today with Connor and the boys because you need to get over your little heart break because it's throwing everyone off and we just want you two to be happy. Brads moved on, so should you too"

That was something that I didn't want to here. Bradley moving on. I wanted him to think about me, no, I needed him to. It makes me seem like an attention seeking cow but I did. He was the only guy that truly cared until we stopped talking and I got closer to the boys.

It's been two years. I haven't seen him for two years and yet Kayla goes out with his best friend as off last Christmas. Thinking about him still hurts and the fact that my best friend goes out with his best friend makes me upset. I saw this day coming. The day I would have to see him again.

"You need to be sober as we are going to a party for their album release, ok?" She said whilst pouring me a drink, "You're not drinking there either"

By the time it was time to get ready I was sober-ish, sober enough to be in public at least. I did however, struggle to get changed.

Since I was unable to do anything myself today, Kayla picked my outfit and did my makeup because I couldn't even hold a brush to brush my Victorian hair.

I had a sleek red dress with long sleeves and white heels, which wasn't a good pick considering I can't walk in heels never mind with alcohol in my system and a lot of it at that.

My hair was put into a messy up-do with a diamond head band to make it seem a little bit flirtier than it should.

I looked myself up and down in the mirror and couldn't even recognise myself, I looked different.

"You look amazing A" Kayla said smiling at me.

For once in my life I feel beautiful, like someone of the streets could want me.

There was a knock on my door, me not knowing what was really happening because the overwhelming amount of alcohol is still in my system. I looked over to the door and Kayla answered it.

"Hey guys!" She said enthusiastically.

"Hello beautiful" a male voice said,

There was also a trail of feet behind the voice, I turned around and was met by a pair of chocolate brown eyes staring at me smiling. It sent shivers down my spine, he still has that effect.

"Hey Amy" James said.

Great.