Secret Games

1

Taehyungs POV:

It was the last concert for the love yourself era and all of the members and I were very emotional about it. We had just walked off stage and I immediately collapsed and started crying. Jimin rushed to my side to see if i was okay, yet i couldn't stop crying. I sat there for about 5 minutes bawling my eyes out with Jimin as he started to cry with me until Jungkook walked in. You could see the worry flash onto his face when he realized that I was in an emotional state. He came to my side and said to Jimin "Go get yourself ready to go back home I will make sure he is okay". With that Jimin nodded and left the room closing the door behind him.

"Tae Tae whats wrong? Why are you crying?" He spoke quickly with worry in his voice.

I stuttered trying to push words through my tears"I d-don't wa-nt the tour to end and us to end with it."

I wasn't emotional over the fact that the Love Yourself era was ending. I was upset because my mind started to worry about what's next. Jin and Yoongi have to enlist soon and I started to panic about what would happen to BTS. Would we fall apart? Or continue to push through with two members absent?

Jungkook pulled me out my thoughts with his soft doe eyed gaze and reassuring words, "Just because the tour is over doesn't mean that we will end with it Tae, BTS will always be a family, no matter what", he put his hand on my shoulder.

"But Jin and Yoongi might be enlisting. What would we do? Tour without them? Or not tour at all? And if we do tour with out them will ARMY be upset!?!"I exclaimed.

"Calm down it's going to be okay, the president is trying to work something out for us. Just enjoy what we have right now don't worry about the future. Whether we are apart or together we are still a family."

As he spoke a watched the sparkle in his eyes. I could hear his words yet I couldn't let my eyes unlock from his. I felt a certain way for him that I didn't feel for the other members. I loved all of them with my whole heart but It was more of a family connection. With Jungkook, it was a whole different feeling. I wanted to tell him how I felt but I didn't know how to tell him. Instead of responding to him I just nodded because i didn't know what to say.

He then stood up and held out his hand to help me up"Come on lets get our make-up off get changed into some comfier clothes and then you can come with me back to my place for the night."

I took his hand and stood up. We walked to the main dressing room and prepared ourselves to go home. We got outside just as it began to rain. The ride home was quiet I just stared out the window my thoughts racing. How do i tell him? What do we do about Jin and Yoongi? It all just kept hitting me. I felt the tears brewing in my eyes again.I simply blinked them away as we arrived at Jungkook's place. I had spent the night here a few times before but it was never planned. It was always the outcome of us falling asleep while working.We ran from the car to the door and he quickly unlocked it to avoid the rain.

Jungkook closes the door behind us, "I will be right back"

He ran up the stairs and I sat down on the couch, I was nervous so I just stared at the ground. I was trying to find the courage to tell him how I felt, but I was worried he would laugh at me and I'd die of embarrassment.

He had changed out of his wet clothes, he was wearing a baggy shirt and sweats. He threw the same thing towards me and told me to get changed. I take the clothes and give him a small smile, "thanks Jungkook." I stood up and went to  the bathroom,my heart still racing.

The thoughts wouldn't leave my mind. I got changed and returned to the couch to find him playing on his phone. When he realized I was back he put his phone down and patted the seat next to him.

"Come sit I want to talk to you about something before we head to bed"

"Alright" I sat next to him and he looked straight into my eyes, his eyes were full of concern and hurt.

"Tae you have been acting different around me lately. You get really quiet when I come around and you tend not to talk to me that much. It worries me. Did I do something wrong?"His voice cracked a couple times and he almost sounded sad.

When he said that, i realized i have been acting strange towards him i wasn't trying to, but I didn't want my feelings for him to get overwhelming and end up pushing him away. I looked away not knowing how to respond to him.

The cracking in his voice forces me to look at him again, "I just can't handle the fact that I might've done something to upset you"

My voice was soft and hesitant as I responded. " You didn't do anything to upset me.I just..." I trailed off, as I didn't have the courage to finish the sentence

"You what Tae?"he asks urgently.

I couldn't lift my head up to face him. "Your going to hate me if I tell you."

"Hyung it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to hate you.I care about you wayyyyy to much."He grabbed my chin with his thumb and finger and tilted my head so I would look at him. "Just tell me...please."

I couldn't lie to him anymore. I had to tell him the truth. "Okay...." It took me a couple seconds to find my words" Throughout tour I realized that I felt a certain way for you that I didn't feel for other members. You probably don't feel the same, and even if you did we could be nothing besides band mates" At that moment I regretted even opening my mouth.

"I..." he grabbed my hands and looked me straight in the eyes, "I think I feel the same way for you. I noticed this in the middle of our tour. You were on my mind more, I kept worrying about you more and more than the others. And one night I was up late thinking and it hit me...I never told you either cause I know it's wrong."

My eyes widened as I was not expecting such a confession. I was in total shock, I didn't know what to say, how to respond. But Jungkook beats me to it, surprising me even more.

"And I know it's wrong but just because we're in a band together and not supposed to date publicly, doesn't mean we can't do it in secret."

I furrowed my brows in confusion, "but how would that work? We wouldn't be able to be a couple Jungkook we're around the members almost 24/7"

"I don't know, why don't we just get some sleep we can figure it out tomorrow.I will bring  some blankets down for you"

An hour goes by after Jungkook went upstairs to sleep and I lie awake. I was drowning in my thoughts and the conversation I had with kook earlier kept repeating in my head like a broken record. I tried to rid my mind of all thoughts as I tossed and turned, slowly drifting off to sleep.