China Dolls

Happy Family (Not Complete)

August 19th

Dear Diary,

"I finished unpacking my boxes today, I put up the pictures of me and Jo from the State Fair last year. That was the best day, I remember Jo and I thought we could handle Rocket Mountain after eating some french fries with just about every topping they had available. We got about half way through the ride and it was right when the camera came up that's when it all happened. The glorious picture. Aside from getting my room together today. Dad came home late last night drunk again. I was wide awake and I heard him and Mom really get into it. Yelling followed by the sound of breaking glass. I can't remember a time in my life when Dad didn't beat Mom every night. Growing up I would see Jo's parents getting along and loving one another. Why couldn't my parents do that? I remember Lauren S. told me that when parents fight it's usually because of the kids. So it was somehow my fault that my father would beat my mother to death every single night? All I ever wanted was a loving family. One that would sit down to family dinners and go one vacations. I was exposed to trauma and abuse at a young age, part of me still wants to try and fix my parents marriage but I don't think I will ever be able to. When I woke up today Mom was unconscious in the living room. I knew that if I tried to help her Dad would do bad things to me again. Only once in my life did I ever get the bad things done to me. I was 10 and I had went to help Mom. Dad sure put me in my place. I hate it here. I hate it all"

Bye for now, NIkki