"Another glass of Jim Beam, please," walang emosyon kong utos sa lalaking bartender ng island na pinuntahan ko.
"Kailan ka pa naging miserable? Ha, Joyce?" tanong sa akin ng bartender.
Tiningnan ko siya at saka umismid.
"At kailan ka pa naging pakialamero? Ha, Kurt?" panunuya ko sa aking pinsan na nagtatrabaho dito. We have a lot of money but why is it, my cousin, have to deal with alcohols and wines? Girl. The girl he loves is working here as a waitress. Guarding her, maybe.
"Pang-walong shot mo na iyan, Joyce. Tama na," saway nito.
"You don't fucking care. Go back to your business," I shooed him away while playing a glass of Jim Beam.
How the hell did they do this to me?
Fuck them and their business. Lumubog kung lumubog, hindi ako ang magpapatakbo ng lecheng kompaniya na iyan.
All my life, all I did was to obey them. Their wants for me. Study this, study that, you should do this, you should make that, and whatsoever na talagang nakakastress.
Who was the six year-old girl forcing to study Science, Mathematics, and all subjects connected to their business? Hey, that's me!
All I want was just to play hide and seek, watching cartoons and all kids stuffs, playing barbie doll, and what other children usually do.
I did what they ask me, but that was when I was a kid. Now that I understand the reasons why they were pushing me to study hard is because they want me to handle their company.
They can't force me. I want to take photography but, they want me to take business ad.
They told me that when I step on 18, I'll be free. Where's my freedom there?
I was homeschooled. They homeschooled me, because they thought the teachers that may handle me was weak. They thought I can't focus on study if I have friends. They thought of friends as distraction.
But it was okay to me. Mahiyain ako noong bata ako kaya pabor sa akin iyon. Pero habang lumalaki ako, narerealize ko na mali. Mali 'to e.
I envied my cousins because they can do what they want. And here I am, stuck in this study room, and was drowned by books.
Pero kahit na ganoon, I study hard. I study for my future. Because I thought of maybe if I study hard, my parent will set me free. Because they love me and they only want the best for me.
And that dream came true. When high school came, I did go to school. I mean, normal school. With classmates, teachers, boys, girls, and friends.
I was happy and contented with my life on highschool, but that was just a glimpse of sunshine.
I was on the third year when I met my first love, or so I thought. It was fast and I knew it was wrong. I kept it to my family even in my cousins. I know, they will be mad at me. Unluckily, my dad caught us kissing.
They were very angry that I think they could kill my boyfriend. I told them that it was the first, but they wouldn't listen to me. I stopped going to school and back at being homeschooled.
I graduated in our house. We celebrated it and gave me gifts. And the best gift I've received was the chance to go to school. Again!
I am very happy. But that happy wasn't endless. I've found out that they want me to take busines ad. But I don't want it. I want photography.
They gave me condition, if I want to go to school then I must take business ad. Photography but homeschooled. I don't want to be homeschooled again! All my life! I'm done with this shit.
