MOVE-ON {English Ver.}

Part I

Today is mine and Jongin's 6th monthsarry. We are at the arcade with our friends. I wanted to celebrate but it may be useless.

I saw a claw machine and went to it. I tried to catch one but unfortunately, I don't have the skills to do so. I went to Jongin who is playing the mini basketball. I waited for him to finish playing before I ask him, he might get mad at me for interrupting.

"Yes!" he yelled because he got a high score. I smiled when he looked at me. "Babe, could you try and get a toy from the claw machine for me?" I asked him.

His face turned dead serious. "Don't call me as your 'Babe' at this moment. Someone might hear you." he replied. My smile died down. Even though I knew that he wasn't going to try for me, I still asked him. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm expecting that he would do that for me.

Jongin left me and went to Soojung, my bestfriend who is also Jongin's girlfriend. Me and Soojung are in a relationship with the same guy, Kim Jongin. But Soojung doesn't know that there are two of us. Jongin courted both of us but he gives more love, care, and affection to Soojung than me even though I was first. Maybe it's because of the fact that she's more beautiful, more intelligent, more rich, more popular, and sweeter than me.

They are the normal couple. They hold each other's hands in public, they steal kisses from each other, their relationship is not a secret. Meanwhile me and Jongin, we only touch and kiss each other at the house and bed.

Yes, I am still his girlfriend even though he is only using me for my body. I don't even know if he still loves me or not. I also don't know why I still did not break-up with him.

I still remember our first 2 months together, he was so sweet and he was also so kind to me. He never tried to do anything inappropriate with me until our 3rd month together, when I turned 18 years of age.

It all started with a simple kiss which turned into an aggressive one. I didn't know that a simple kiss would lead to me losing my virginity.

I remember how I lost my virginity to him.. He forced me and it hurt, it really hurt. I know that it would hurt but he didn't even dare to comfort me. After that night, he had changed. And everytime he forced me to do it with him, I'd cry so hard that he'd get annoyed and violent with me.

His warm and gentle smile became a naughty smirk. His innocent, warm hands became infected with the inappropriate thoughts going on in his mind. It would be a miracle if he's innocent around me. And then he had a second girlfriend, Jung Soojung. First, he had changed. Second, he two-timed me. Wow, awesome right?

But when I heard that Jongin's got another girlfriend, I still don't know why I insisted not to break up with him even though it really hurts like a thousand daggers. That time, I almost can't sleep every night, I cut myself, I don't go to school, and I almost hung myself. Jongin doesn't know that I did those. He was too busy being all lovey-dovey with his 'Baby' that's why he doesn't notice me too much. He doesn't even ask me why I wear long-sleeved tops even though it's summer.

Tears started forming in my eyes as I watch them being sweet to each other. Wow, I'm so fucking amazed right now.

I felt someone tap my shoulder. I quickly wiped my tears and looked at the person.

Do Kyungsoo, my bestfriend who told me that he likes me.

"Wh-Why are you crying?" he asked. And again, he tears formed in my eyes. "Nothing.." I said.

"Nothing? What nothing? You wouldn't be crying for nothing! Come one, just tell me." he insisted.

I sighed and answered, "Not here, let's go to your house."

*****

We are here in his room, sitting on his bed and I am still crying.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" he asked once again.

"I-I can't handle all these anymore, Kyungsoo.. I can't.." I said while tears are streaming down my face.

"What? What can you not handle? You want me to help you?"

"It hurts so much like hell! But he doesn't care about me, all he wants is my body!"

He sighed. "Why don't you give up the bastard so that all your sufferings would end?"

Out of all my bestfriends, only Kyungsoo knows about me and Jongin.

"Because I still love him!" I shouted, looking into his eyes.

Sadness; it is what I see in them. "Why don't you move on? Why don't you try loving me instead?" he asked with tears from down his cheek.

"Kyungsoo, I--"

"Why don't you try loving me instead?" he repeated but his time he looked angry.

"Kyungsoo, I'm so sorry but I can't.." I said and stood then walked towards the door.

I was about to open the door but he stopped me.

I turned around to look at him and he grabbed my arm tight. "Ow, Kyungsoo! You're hurting me!"

"I am here for you! I waited for you years and years, Byul! But until now, you still love that stupid Jongin guy even though he's only using you? Wake up, Eunbyul! Wake the fuck up! I love you!" he confronted me.

The anger building up in me flared.

"Fuck you, Kyungsoo! Don't you know that you can't force a person to love you when they fucking don't!? I don't love you, okay? So fuck off!" I yelled and then pushed him. I cried while walking out of his room and house.

"FUCK!" I heard Kyungsoo shout followed by the sound of glass shattering.

I sat at the edge of the sidewalk.

"I.. I'm sorry Kyungsoo.. I'm so sorry.." I whispered whilst crying and hugging myself.