because of you never being there for me as a kid, when i needed you the most, i started becoming a slut, that's all people see when they look at me is slut because i look for love from guys cause i never got the love i needed from you. i am a very needy person, i always need attention from someone because i never got enough love from you. a guy will start flirting with me and if i seem to actually really like that guy ill start flirting back but then if i do that i'm a slut because i just need love and attention from people. even if i'm fighting with someone i need the attention and engagement of the other person. i'm hated city wide because of you, you may be wondering how its because of you, but its cause you never gave me attention which made me a slut i'm hated. if a guy starts hitting on me but then loses interest i will simply go to the next guy around me that's flirting cause i need that attention, i am an attention seeker but not in the way most people think when they hear attention seeker. most "attention seekers" will do stupid things for attention like self harm or make big scenes but personally i just need to be made feel like i actually exist to people and am not just a thing that stands back, yes i have my issues, trust me i have plenty, but i try my best to distract myself from these issues and feel love by doing this. i'm a very insecure person and when guys give me this attention, even for the one day or night, it boosts my self esteem for that time. it makes me feel like maybe i am even the slightest bit skinny enough or pretty enough to be loved. almost everyone i know slut shames me, even you have before (which is disgusting), your supposed to love me and make me feel good about myself but you really just make me feel worse and worse about myself. you told me once that it was my fault i got raped which i know it wasn't and everyone else knows that. i honestly think you don't really even care about me at this point, u just use me to make yourself look like a better person.
hope this helps anyone who may have these same issues!
i'm here if you need to open up!
