No Control

Chapter 3: I don't love you anymore...

Amethyst's Pov:

I hate living in this house with him, he's an abusive drunk with anger issues and he's ruining my life. I'm trying to keep it together but he's not the man I married anymore. I hate him, I hate this house, and I hate that I have to pretend to love him. This isn't a life, this is a nightmare. I can't keep doing this, I've wasted years of my life on this poor excuse of a man and I can't keep letting him hurt me like this.

"Amethyst, it smells amazing in here! What are you making?" Madsie smiles, walking in.

"I am baking Harry a birthday cake. It's his favorite, Butter Pecan." I smile.

As much as I hate him, I'm not going to chance him getting mad before Madsie leaves. I need him in a good mood so that he doesn't hit me or...something else.

"I'm sure he'll love it! I'm going out for a bit, can you help me load some stuff in the car? It's gifts for some friends." She smiles.

I nod and grab the bags, without thinking she punches in the code without covering it and I see it. 15970.

I finally know it, I can finally plan to leave. I look to the floor to pretend I didn't see anything as she looks behind her. She opens the door and leads me out to her car and I place the bags in the backseat and she follows me back into the house. 

"I'll be back, let Harry know please when he gets back!" She smiles.

I nod and turn toward the kitchen as she closes the door. I can't believe after so many wasted years...I know the code. I could leave. I could leave right now and not look back. I have the code...I'm home all alone...I have at least an hour's window. 

I peak out the window and Madsie's car is still in the driveway. I think she's waiting to see if I run for it. Does she know I'm a prisoner here?  Is she aware her son is a cruel motherfucker? Are they partners in crime?

I watch out the window until she leaves and I head up to Harry's office. It's locked but thank god I taught myself how to pick a lock with my bobby pins. I get in and start searching, there's gotta be something in here...I know he has a safe. I look everywhere but the one place I didn't think to check is in plain sight. I search our room, the linen closet...and then it hits me. Madsie's room. The only place in the house that he doesn't make me clean more than once a week but only the main area, never the closet.

I search the closet without making it look like someone was searching for something.  I almost give up, he's a smart man and knows how to hide things. Then I saw something. A tear in the wallpaper to the side of the closet. I press on the wall and it opens up a crack in the wall. I take out the loose board and there it is, the safe. I'm not going to take anything until the day I decide to leave but I just need to know if he's got money in it, and how much.

It's code protected with kind of makes it more difficult than if it were a key. I hope he's stupid enough to use the same code as the one for the security system. 

I lean in and punch in the code, it beeps and clicks...he is that stupid.

I open the door to the safe and can't believe my eyes. Stacks of money, lots of it. There has to be hundreds of thousands of dollars or more. How has he saved so much money? He barely works...but at least now I know that there's some cash I  can take when I decide to go. 

I close it and lock it back up and then put it back, making sure it looks like it did before I was looking for it. I'll pack a bag of my favorite clothes and hide it somewhere he won't find it. He never goes into the basement so I'll hide it down there somewhere. Then, when he goes out for dinner with his friends for his birthday the day after Madsie leaves, that's when I'll go. 

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"Amethyst! This cake is spectacular, you're a baking goddess!" Madsie exclaims.

"Yes babe, this is amazing. Thank you so much!" Harry smiles and kisses my cheek.

I smile and finish my cake before cleaning up the dirty dishes and the dinner mess. Harry and Madsie retire to the living room and she gives him his present from her. 

"Oh, mom, a Rolex? That's too much, how can you afford this?" He exclaims.

"Nothing is ever too much for my baby! You'll understand that when you two have kids!" She exclaims.

Harry's mouth forms a straight line, she looks at him confused.

"You guys do want kids right?" She asks baffled.

"Of course we do mom, we've been trying. We're just having some trouble." Harry lies.

"Oh thank goodness, you know how much I want grandchildren." She sighs.

She had to bring up kids...I mean of course I want kids but I can't have kids with Harry. That's why I have a hidden bottle of plan B in the basement. I can't allow him to become a father, I do not want to put my children in this environment.

Eventually, Harry and Madsie went to bed, I said I'd clean up a bit more and do some laundry but I'm actually planning my escape. I can't keep doing this, he's a rapist. He's an alcoholic. He's a sorry excuse for a human being.  I can't live a life where I'm being raped every two weeks. I can't live the life of a loveless marriage. 

I have to go. I'm going to write a letter, put it in my getaway bag and place it on the table before I leave.

Dear Harry,

I'm sorry, but I can't live this life anymore. You are not the man I married...and I can't live a life of pain and imprisonment. You are a horrible man, and at first, I did love you but...I don't love you anymore...You've hurt me for the last time. I'll be filing for divorce and then you'll never hear from or see me again. I know you'll be angry, and I honestly don't care at this point. You should never have gotten away with treating me the way you did. Also, I know you only kept me around to cook and clean for you. I know you've been cheating with that skanky assistant of yours. Maybe you should marry her and treat her like your servant...because I'm done being one. Have a good life Harry, and I wish you...to live in hell.

-Amethyst.