Zayn loves Liam more than can be expressed with words, so he doesn’t really talk about it much. Instead, he hugs, cuddles, caresses, and kisses the hell out of Liam pretty constantly. Zayn thoroughly enjoys affection and that’s amplified by the fact that he can’t really show it often or ever really. He loves being famous. He loves being able to sing for thousands on a very regular basis, but he also loves his boyfriend, more than words can explain, so those touches are imperative. However, they’ve been really busy, so Zayn is worried that he’s not doing enough. He goes to Harry to talk about it because he and Louis have become professionals at being closeted gays and handling relationship issues.
“I’m worried he doesn’t know I love him.”
“Has he complained?”
“No.”
“Has he been acting strange?”
“No.”
“Do you know that he loves you?”
“No,” Zayn answers without thinking. Harry’s eyes grow wide and Zayn slaps his hands over his mouth like he just told one of the Queen’s secrets.
“This isn’t about Liam, it’s about you,” Harry mutters, shaking his head at the older lad for managing to confuse him. “You almost me there. Well at least I know the rapid fire technique works on you. Have you spoken to him about how you feel like he doesn’t love you?”
“Shut up. No, I haven’t. It’s not that I don’t feel like he loves me. I just don’t feel like he loves me as much and I guess that’s a little bit scary?”
Harry raises his brow at Zayn’s question, “I can’t tell you what you’re feeling mate, but I understand how scary it is to feel like you’re in a lot deeper than the other half of your relationship. You remember how I was sad all the time for a while? It’s because I thought I was more in love with Lou than he was with me. It wasn’t the case though, we just communicate differently. Maybe Liam thinks he’s showing you he loves you in some way that you just don’t understand. Talk to him. It’ll get better.”
“Well, it’s worth giving a try. Thanks Haz,” Zayn says, leaving the room to locate his boyfriend. When he finds him Liam is spread across a bed on Zayn’s laptop.
“Oi! You diggin’ threw mi stuff mate?”
Liam rolls onto his back and throws open his arms, chuckling at Zayn’s Niall impression. Zayn tosses himself right into Liam’s chest and settles in.
“Yeah, totally sneaking on ya,” Liam deadpans pointing to the screen that has iTunes up on it.
“Whatcha doing?”
“Well, um, I’m updating your iTunes,” Liam sheepishly confesses.
“Why?”
“Well you always get these songs you really like stuck in your head, but then you forget about them for a little while and can’t remember the names so I’ve taken to writing them down and adding them to a playlist with the date you heart them in a comment so you have them and know which one you’re thinking of whenever you get confused.”
Zayn’s breath hitches because its quite possible the sweetest gesture anyone has made for him. He opts for a kiss instead of words and smiles into Liam’s lips when he rolls over to cover Zayn with his body. When they pull away for air, Liam runs his fingers gently over Zayn’s cheekbone before he whispers, “I love you, babe.”
Zayn smiles before he replies, “I know. I love you too.”
Liam runs a quick hand through Zayn’s hair and smiles again before connecting their lips one last time. He pulls away to go back to the computer to finish organizing the songs before he forgets and Zayn just lays next to him staring at the ceiling wondering what else his boyfriend does to show that he cares. He realizes that Liam is quiet and shy with his love. Liam isn’t the one who initiates couch cuddles or hugs during interviews, but he always opens the door for Zayn and whenever he runs late, Liam has his favorite coffee ready in the car as well as an embrace. Zayn chuckles as he realizes how much Liam fits the strong and silent type, but it makes him appreciate the gestures even more.
Liam closes the laptop and turns towards Zayn, lightly pecking him on the forehead before pushing himself off the bed to stand in front of Zayn.
“Come on, I got Paul to pick up that movie you wanted to see and the closed out that home theater they have on the first floor for us.”
Zayn stares up at Liam blankly, wondering if he’s just been blind to all this since he
never worried about how much Liam loved him before that awkward head hug thing he forced on him during an interview. He sits up and grabs Liam’s hand to tug him down to eye level.
“I love you so much and thank you for all of this Li.”
“I know, babe and you’re welcome.”
” I never really thank you properly,” Zayn all but whines as Liam pulls him up off the bed. They walk down the hall to the elevator when Liam leans over and whispers in Zayn’s ear.
“You can properly thank me tonight.”
Zayn shivers with the promise of a good night and starts to ponder the ways he’s going to show Liam just how much he loves him.
