I have some really weird feeling
inside of me, I feel this heaviness
inside of me, my heart feels heavy,
I feel emptiness and sadness at
the same time, I wish I didn't have
all these illnesses.
I'm 13/14 I have my whole life ahead and I'm already tired of moving forward, every time I take a step forward I am always sent back to the start, school is about to start and that's half of the worrying thoughts I have in my head.
No one supports me emotionally, they think I'm crazy, and my 'craziness' can be cured only with medicines, I just need someone whispering everything is gonna be alright, I can go through this.
Life hurts.
People hurt.
Everyone is in competition with you, every day is a challenge.
I feel like a failure right now, I mean I went to school, felt sad because I felt alone, cried because the subject I put so much interest and hard work into is now an F.
Cried because I am not as intelligent as that Chinese kid in my class that looks like he has a bright future ahead, cried because I couldn't be like those three girls with high grades and always comes in the 3 rankings of the best students of the class.
Cried because I feel like I'm nothing, I feel like I have no future, I have no one to stand by my side and tell me: don't worry and just hug me.
My life is quite a mess.
I switch countries to go to school.
I take the train from Switzerland and go to Italy, you may be wondering why?
A year ago I moved to Switzerland from Italy and in Milan, the city I was raised in was my home, changing suddenly everything made everything around me dark, I had to leave my home, my friends, my school, my childhood place and go into a completely different place was hurting me.
So I decided to be in contact with the homeland and go to school there and Swiss's school has a whole different program and I wasn't interested in it.
The point is everything is draining me out, even if I go to school in Italy all this running in trains is destroying me because I have no time for myself, for my friends.
The only thing I think about is when I come home is: I have to study for tomorrow's test.
