On December 25, 2013, late at night I received the worst news a pregnant woman can receive. My lover has passed away. I felt to my knees weakened and I could not breathe, I lost my sight and knowledge of what was going on around me. I remember what my lover whispered into my ears while he was laying in the hospital bed 'grief is the price we pay for love'. His voice was as cold as the winter snow. I was not ready to let him go, I wanted him to stay by my side and see our little girl grow up to become a beautiful woman. I closed my eyes and I saw it.
I saw our past, flashing through my eyes. The first time we met in the café, I was sitting alone by the window on a rainy day. I saw him looking at me from over the counter and he gave a sweet smile. For the past week, I always saw him sitting there, drinking the same cup of coffee with a croissant, he always looked at me and smile. Finally, he walked to my table and asked to sit down. The rain was not stopping and the companionship of someone new did not seem so bad. I let him sit in front of me as he introduced himself, 'my name is Ethan'. I smiled my name is Ella, I responded. We spent hours talking about each other, he made me laugh so hard I almost pee on myself. I think I was falling for him, but there was something about him.
He was an unemployed musician. He played in the streets, the train and little events; such as weddings and birthdays. I was in shocked, I did not want anything to do with him. But his charmed was pulling me closer as I tried to leave, I allowed myself to fall for him even though we were not going to be able to have a stable future. I did not think about it much, I just lived in the moment with him. After one year of being together, we moved in a one-bedroom apartment in Kissimmee, FL, three miles away from Disney World. I was the happiest girl in the world. We were not making much, but we lived happily. I taught me so much, about life and happiness. One day we received a letter from his family.
It was an invitation to a wedding party. He never talked much about his family nor did I pressure him to do so, but it sure will be nice to meet them. The wedding was dated on June 17, 2012. A week from today. I asked him about going, he did not seem, I begged him to go and he finally agreed. On the drive, I looked at the window there was just land, from far the only thing I saw besides the land was a beautiful mansion in Twilight Try, Kissimmee. I grabbed his hand and looked at him. How can his family afford this? for a party if he is broke. We stopped at the gate and he said his name in the door and the door opened it took about three minutes to get to the mansion. We got out of the car and a woman was standing there. The women were dressed very elegantly, and she was really pretty, next to her a man, who looked a little bit older than her. He got out of the car first and opened the door for me. The women approached him with a smile on her face. 'it is nice to see you, looked at you-you look a mess'. I smiled at her while she hugged him. The men walked towards us and said, 'let him be, he is a grown man'. You must be Ella, it is so nice to finally meet you. How does she know my name?
He grabbed my hand and we walked inside. He whispered into my ears 'they are my parents'. I was shocked he is rich. Why he never told me about that. I should have noticed since the bills were a little too low, that we were able to afford. I whispered to his ears 'you are rich? He smiled, and we walked towards the front. His mother sat next to me and grabbed my hand. This is his sister's wedding, I apologized you never got to meet us, he is very shy about his family and wealth. But I am glad you stuck with him even though you knew he was poor and lived your life with him. I was happy she told me that but rich or poor I wouldn't care I loved him. That night we danced the whole night, and I got to his sister and husband. He grabbed my hand and dragged me to the middle of the dance floor and got down in one knee.
YES, YES, YES. I said calmly. I want to be your wife. Four months later, we had a small yet simple wedding with only his family members and close friends. It was lovely, I wore an Oscar De La Rental bridal dress collection given to me by his mother, with my mother's crown. I loved it, I was happy. After the wedding, we headed back to our apartment he did not want to go anywhere for our honeymoon no matter how many times his parents insisted. I did not care all I wanted to be was with him. Even though I knew he was a rich boy, I did not let that change our relationship neither did he. Then it happened.
In November 7,2013, we were given the best news in our lives, we were pregnant. I was going to have his first baby. I was happy, even though I did not know what the gender of the baby was, I went shopping for the baby with his sister and my mother. I can home show Ethan all the things that I brought he seemed so excited, but something was off about his voice. It sounded week, I knew something was wrong, but he told me he was fine. I spent the rest of that day asking him if he was feeling okay or if he has something to tell me. Ethan never answered. We went to sleep that night holding on to each other so tight. I woke up in the morning, I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, took a shower. Ethan was still in bed not moving. I asked him what he wanted for breakfast, still no answer. I walked near his side of the bed and turned his face, then I noticed.
Ethan was not breathing, I put my head on his chest no heartbeat. I grabbed my phone and called 9-1-1 and waited for the ambulance to come. I called his mother and sister to tell them we were in Florida Hospital Celebration Health. I waited for hours for the doctors to come. Finally, a Doctor walked towards us, Mrs. Ethan White. I got up and walked towards the Doctor with his family. Mr. White has a brain tumor and has taken grown over 40 % of his brain, and it is expected to grow by the days, he only has a few more days to live. I could not help it but to cry my eyes out, I never knew he had cancer, he never told me he had cancer. When did he get cancer? I had so many questions and no answer. I was not ready to let him go, I did not want to let him go. I wanted him by my side, he is never going to see his baby grow. I visited him every day, I talked to him every day. For the next couple of days, until I got that called that changed my life.
Ethan passed away. I cried for days. Then I went back to the café, where we first met and spent hours remembering our conversations for the next eight months. I knew it was not healthy, but it helps me feel like he was always there and so was our love. I gave birth to our beautiful daughter Emma, she looks just like him. I took a final trip to the café. I sat there and order Ethan's order; A cup of coffee and a croissant. I sat there and watch the train pass by on a rainy day. Today I am ready to say goodbye.
