What You Need

1

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Friday

From the outside I'm normal.

The only 'abnormal' thing there is about me is I'm dating a guy. Most people are fine with it, if they aren't they don't give me trouble about it.

Am I normal?

I dont think so. I make all the wrong decisions and I hate myself. I want to be someone else. I hate my life and I'm just so unsatisfied with my life.

If I was normal I would be happy in my relationship. The guy I'm dating is wonderful, he's respectful, nice, attractive, and seems to really love me. We've been dating for over a year now, and I wouldn't change anything in our relationship.

I'm not unsatisfied with it.

If I went back in time I don't know if I'd say yes to him asking me out.. he's to good?

Earlier I said that people see me as normal, that was I lie. Or I just wasn't thinking right. They don't see me as normal they see me as acceptable. They accept how I dress and act.

My eyes flicker to a guy, he's hot. Kellin stop, that's wrong. Don't check people out unless it's the boyfriend. The one that loves you and never does anything wrong. Accidentally I make eye contact with the guy whose walking in the hall.

I clutch my books to my chest and right when I'm about to break eye contact from this guy, something I'm not prepared for happens. Somebody walks up and smashes their mouth into mine.

My eyes widen and I look at my boyfriend. Brown eyes, brown hair, yup it's my boyfriend. "Hey darling, watcha looking at?" He says when he pulls away.

I look back to where the guy was and he's not there. Theres a flyer on the wall. That's my excuse. "The winter ball is happening in a month, are we going?" I ask hopefully. I would love to go.

It's not like homecoming or anything it's like, super fucking fancy. Only juniors and seniors are allowed to go and they have to dress up or they wont be able to go.

It's like the Cinderella kind of ball and if I dont go this time I'll never be able to go. Last year I was single and didn't want to third wheel so I promised myself I'd get a boyfriend before my senior year's ball starts.

That has been completed but now I just have to make sure he's taking me. He smiles at me and pecks my lips again. "Maybe, I still dont know," he says and I nod understandably.

This hasn't been the first time I've asked him if we are going. "Okay, well am I going to you're house later today?" I ask because I usually do.

He looks at me apologetically. Nope, I can't go to my boyfriend's house on a Friday night. That's fine.. I'll just be home watching Netflix alone.

"I'm going to the hospital to check up on my dad," he says and I feel guilty for being a little upset that I couldn't go over. His dad has been in and out of the hospital for over two years.. cancer must be horrible. Just slowly dying...

"Oh, I'm sorry vic.. I'll shower you with support and love through my phone," I say and smile. He doesn't want me to come to the hospital because he doesn't want to look weak in front of me.

He hugs me and of course I return it. "I'm going to class, I love you," he says and starts walking.

"Bye love ya!" I call and he sends me a smile. He's been a bit down lately but he still does everything to make me happy.