"Bj:
You could use a buddy
Don't you want a pal?
(Yes I do! Yes I do!)
Girl, the way I see it
Your daddy should be leavin'
And you should stick around!
BJ:
(And kill him!)
LYDIA:
What?
BJ:
Nothing
BJ:
So, Lydia, don't end yourself
Defend yourself
Daddy is the one you should maim
Together we'll exterminate, assassinate
LYDIA:
No!
BJ:
The finer points can wait
But first you gotta say my name!
Go ahead and jump but that won't stop him
Here you got a solid plan B option
I can bring your daddy so much pain
All you gotta do is say my name!
Girl, just say it three times in a row
Then you won't believe how far I'll go
I'm on the bench, but coach
Just put me in the game
All you gotta do is say my name
LYDIA:
I don't know your name
BJ:
Well, I can't SAY it
LYDIA:
How 'bout a game of charades?
BJ:
Yes, let's play it
LYDIA:
Two words
BJ:
Right
LYDIA
Second word
BJ:
Uh-huh
LYDIA:
Drink?
BJ:
No
LYDIA:
Beverage?
BJ:
No
LYDIA:
Wine?
BJ:
No
LYDIA:
Juice?
BJ:
Yes!
LYDIA:
Okay
First word
BJ:
Okay
LYDIA:
Bug?
BJ
No
LYDIA
Ant?
BJ:
Close, but no
LYDIA:
Beetle?
BJ
Yes!
LYDIA:
Beetlejuice ?
BJ;
Wow, I'm impressed
And all you gotta do is say my name three times
Three times in a row it must be spoken
Unbroken
Ready?
LYDIA
Yeah
BJ:
Okay, go...
LYDIA:
Beetlejuice
BJ:
Yes
LYDIA:
Beetlejuice
BJ:
Yes
LYDIA:
Beeeeeeeeeeeeee....
BJ
Oh, oh, this is gonna be so good-
LYDIA
-cause
BJ:
What?
LYDIA:
You're so smart
A stand-up bro
I'll think about your offer
Let you know
But I prefer my chances down below
Betelgeuse
BJ:
Yes!
[LYDIA:]
Beetlejuice
BJ:
Yes!
LYDIA
Being young and female doesn't mean that I'm an easy mark
I've been swimming with piranhas
I don't need a shark
Yes, life sucks
But not that much
Ok, Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice
Be a doll and spare the lecture
BJ:
I'm offering you a full-time spectre
LYDIA:
Are you any good?
BJ:
You bet'cha
Trust me, baby!
LYDIA:
I just met ya
Really it's a flattering offer
BJ:
Don't you wanna see Dad suffer?
LYDIA:
I think I'd rather just jump off
BJ:
No!
LYDIA:
I may be suicidal
But Beetlejuice, it's not as if I've lost my mind
BJ:
So, playing hardball, huh?
You are tougher than you look
LYDIA:
Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with
Got any references?
BARBARA:
Lydia, there you are!
ADAM:
Are you alright?
BJ:
A-Dog, B-Town, my old pals!
ADAM:
Get away from her!
Lydia, this is a dangerously unstable individual
[*Betelgeuse possesses Barbara and Adam*]
BARBARA:
Beetlejuice is sexy!
ADAM:
Beetlejuice is smart!
BARBARA & ADAM:
BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!
He can help
We found him on Yelp
Our troubles all ended on the day that we befriended him
Every word is the truth
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!
BARBARA:
What the heck was that?
ADAM:
So violating!
BJ:
There you go, kid
Couple of five-star reviews
LYDIA:
What was that?
BJ:
That was possession
Any ghost can do that in less than one lesson
LYDIA:
Any ghost?
BJ:
Pretty much, any ghost'll do sure
LYDIA:
Then, Beetlejuice, what do I need you for?
BJ
Woah, woah, woah woah woah!
Hold up- hold up, girl, I'm your pal
They're sweet, but I'm a demon straight from Hell
I know, I went a little hard on the sell
But we're BF-F-F-F's forever!
[*Betelgeuse gets pushed off the roof of the house by Lydia*]
Agh!
ADAM AND BARBARA:
Lydia!
LYDIA:
What? He was already dead
And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff
LYDIA
We don't need that demon
The three of us alone can wreck dad's evening
Together we can make a grown man weep
Guys, I got a dinner date to keep
[ADAM:
Okay, so what's the plan?
LYDIA (with ADAM & BARBARA):
Teach dad a lesson
He's gonna freak when we possess him
So he wants the perfect daughter
I'll lead that lamb to slaughter
Yeah, I got game!
I'm gonna make him say my name
(Make him say your name)
I'll make him say my name
(Make him say your name)
I'll make him say my name
(Make him say your name)
Not running away!
I'll make him say my name!"
