As I lay in this bed watching you get ready for a shower, a feeling of hatred comes over me. A part of me wants out of this life with you. Then another part of me wants to stay forever. I hate so many things about you, yet feel love for you as well. It's an overwhelming feeling, it's drives me fucking insane. You're not compassionate and you're not sensitive and yet I have the audacity to look up to you as if you were my own personal muse. It's hard to describe the indifference I feel towards you at times. It makes me feel crazed. Our relationship feels like walking on fire, but with fireproof shoes on. I can't recall a time I haven't been mad at you or upset that you told me that you'd be fine without me, yet the thought of you leaving terrifies me. I hate you, you know.
