Whore.

Chapter 21: Rex

I jerked back as the car drove off. My heart was still beating fast. Malone had seen me. My lie had been uncovered. Shit. I looked back and watched as his car turned right at the crossroads. He wasn't looking at our car at all. Maybe he didn't notice it was me. My windows were only half down and the glass was a little tinted. Still, I wasn't sure whether I should be scared or relieved.

"What was that?" Swash looked at me through the rear-view mirror
"Huh?"
"Why were you staring at that car?"
"Oh. That. I thought the guy looked familiar." Not a complete lie, not the whole truth. It made me feel less guilty.
"Really. You looked like you'd seen a ghost."
"Maybe I'm just cold." I wound up my window, just so the lie was a little more convincing. Swash gave me a confused look but said nothing else. The rest of the trip was silent. Even Bradley had stopped tapping on the window. I continued to look out of the window. I didn't want Swash to read my face.

The museum was everything I expected. Bradley seemed to ignore everything else and only wanted to see the dinosaur exhibit. I looked around at the array of stuff, all with a history of some kind. I wondered if I'd ever make such an impact and have my face framed on a wall for other people to look at and marvel if they'd make my level of impact. Okay, that was weird. My thought process had looped on itself. But I knew what I was doing. I wanted to crowd out my thoughts so I wouldn't think of Malone and how much he must hate me. The mere fact that I could see through my own ruse made it not work. I couldn't help myself. Malone had been a sure thing and I blew it. But I couldn't have told him why I was going to stay with Swash. It had been my only choice at the time, other than running away completely. Still I could have-

"Mike!"
I blinked and looked at Swash. He looked a little worried.
"You've been zoning out on us since we got here."
"Oh, sorry. I just have a lot on my mind."
"Anything to do with the guy you recognized?"
"Uh..." Should I tell another lie? I was telling so many lies; I feared I wouldn't remember them all.
"What's his name?" Swash was looking at me intently. I wanted to lie again but somehow his look paralyzed me.
"Malone."
"And what did he do to you?" He looked a little angry, like he wanted to punch someone.
"He's my boyfriend." I said it so quietly, hoping he wouldn't catch it. He did. I knew he did because he stiffened and looked at me like I had just lied to him.
"So it's official?"

I could only nod. He sighed and looked away. Bradley was staring at the dinosaur skeletons with excited eyes. I wished I could be him at that moment, only concerned about giant lizards that died millions of years ago. Swash looked again at me. I couldn't tell what expression he had on his face. Hurt? No. Betrayal? I wasn't sure. I closed my eyes and wished to be somewhere else. This was turning out to be a horrible Saturday. I was so absent-minded for the rest of the exhibit; I was surprised when Swash said that it was time to go home.

The ride home was less than pleasant. Bradley had slept off, leaving only Swash and I in the awkward silence. He kept stealing glances at me while we drove back; I only pretended not to notice. After a while, I grew irritated. I couldn't really understand what his problem was. I had told him from the beginning that I was unavailable, so he should never have bothered trying to get with me. Then again, I hinted during the phone call prior to my two-week stint that I wasn't that serious with Malone. Maybe I got his hopes up. It was right before we became official anyway. I sighed aloud, exasperated at my own thoughts. Swash looked up like he expected me to say something, but after I didn't, he looked back to the road. Soon, we got home. Swash carried the sleeping Bradley out of the car and I had the task of holding doors open for him. Even the elevator ride felt uncomfortable. We got up to the condo and Swash took Bradley to his room. I sat down to watch TV but somehow couldn't get my mind into it. Swash emerged from Bradley's room, looking glum. I was tired of the awkwardness.

"Swash?"
He looked at me, tiredly. I knew he didn't want to talk but we had to get this out of the way. Maybe I would leave tomorrow. There wasn't any point overstaying my welcome.
"Are you mad at me or something?"
"No, I'm not mad."
"So what is it?" I sat up. I wanted him to know that I was ready to drag this conversation out. He looked at me, but his gaze wasn't fixed.
"Nothing. I'm just tired, I guess."
"There's something wrong, and I want you to get it out." I was a bit surprised at my own confidence. Swash narrowed his eyes a bit but said nothing. I sighed in annoyance.
"Okay, you don't want to tell me, and that's okay. I just wanted to know if we're still friends."
"Sure. We are." There was a way he said it that seemed disappointed. "I'm going to my room."
"It's only 7:30."